Kumbh Mela, Haridwar:
Ever wondered what the Sri Ram Sene members did with the excessive flooding of chaddis (underwear) from their courier boys and postmen last Valentine’s Day? If the “devoutly Indian” hooligan group is to be believed, they are going to flaunt those chaddis in a cocktail party on Valentine’s Eve night at their headquarters.
Known for their famous acts of preserving the culture, the Hindu fundamentalist group has announced that this Valentine’s Day all their party workers will be dressed in the pink chaddis that they received last year during the famous Pink Chaddi Campaign. “Our leader Shri Pramod Muthalikji is of the firm belief that underwear are to be worn and not kept inside almirahs,” said Shri Pagalam Pyaare, SRS “Vaanar” (their term for “spokesperson”; they use the term Vaanar Sena for their media-interaction team).
Because chaddis are forever
(left) Last year’s poster, (right) This is what Sri Ram Sena seems to be saying in 2010
The press conference began with Pyaare mumbling in Sanskrit, “vayam arunavarnam aantarik-vastram…“, until an alert NTMN journalist interrupted and requested him to converse in English and Hindi. Pagalam Pyaare quickly changed the lingo, “I am very excited for this Valentine’s Day as our organization is very eager to showcase the pink chaddis that we received last year. You won’t believe, we received as many as 3375656 pink chaddis. That’s the official data; our counting personnel are also scandalous people like us, and they must have hidden another 1 lakh of chaddis somewhere under their pants for personal use.” The Vaanar sounded excited and in high spirits.
He continued, “We are thankful to the people of our country for showering us with so much love… Muthalikji has decided to throw a grand cocktail party at his residence on the eve of Valentine’s Day. We have special instructions to wear low-waist dhotis so as to flaunt the pink waistline to the cameras.” He said that some of the underwear were of ‘top quality’-stuff and branded. “Kya maal bheja hain logo ne….. a designer panty from Victoria’s Secret…. Muthalikji to khushi ke mare pagal hue pade hain.”