Monday: You will feel an irritation in your eyes when you go outside. I advise you to cure it by pouring two drops of glue in each eye.
Tuesday: Four mice will invade your pants and injure your private parts severely. Since you will be surrounded by people the whole day, you can’t take off your pants.
Wednesday: The mice will come out at 10 am and eight lizards will enter.
Thursday: Watch your step as you walk on the street. You are likely to step on a vast mass of animal faecal matter and you will slip over it.
Friday: Don’t ride a bicycle. You will fall off and land on the body of a sleeping dog. That dog will trail you till you reach back home.
Saturday: Your nose will secrete milk.
Sunday: You are likely to go mad.