Mayawati wants her photos on advertisement-boards of beauty parlours in UP

The Lakhnawi Goddess of Beauty has
uplifted more Dalit lives than all Greek
and Roman Goddesses

The glamorous chief minister of Uttar Pradesh, Mayawati, has found a new way of Dalit upliftment. From April 1, it would be mandatory for all beauty parlours in the state to use the photo of Mayawati for advertising and publicity purposes. Currently most such shops use portraits of Bollywood actresses to woo customers. Besides, all beauty products have been asked to use Mayawati as the face of their brand. This is expected to help in uplifting the Dalit community, much the same way as they have reached heights of excellence and glory after the erection of Mayawati’s statues.

“Madam is really upset about the slowing business of beauty salons in the state, so she has come up with this master plan,” said Uttam Pardesi, Chief Secretary. According to him, the CM feels that using pics of Bollywood actresses is an obsolete means to attract customers. She said that the public should be able to relate with their own standards, rather than be fooled by the beauty of actresses, who never even came to the beauty parlours that use their pics. “All salons need a fresh and naturally beautiful face. Before we came to any conclusion, obviously it was the great mayavi Mayaji herself who proposed her own name,” said Pardesi.

Pretty unreliable sources have confirmed that Mayawati will soon do a bold photo shoot of herself wherein all the famous photographers would be invited to click her pics, which will then be distributed amongst the beauty parlours. The betting market in UP is abuzz with bookies betting on the amount of skin Mayawati will show. 

The popular Dalit photographer, Kanshilaxman has been roped in for heading this project. A female NTMN reporter caught up with Mr. Kanshilaxman in a beauty parlour. He said, “Oh I am extremely happy and excited for this photo shoot. We rarely get such beautiful women to work with. She is very respected in the photographers community, you see, despite her hectic schedule, she manages to look so hot all the time…and needless to say she has got a great physique too…especially her cute and fluffy cheek muscles which she is very eager to display in the photos.”

The announcement has led to a lot of chit-chatter in the fashion industry. World famous fashion designers Dolce and Gabbana are flying down to India to have a personal look at Mayawati’s photo shoot. Dolce said, “We heard of Mayawati and this girl is presently working on her first photo shoot at a waste land in India. I heard the first designer who sees her wrapped up in garbage in that dump-ground will be the lucky guy who she will work with in the future and I’m not going to miss such an opportunity.”

The Time magazine has written in an exclusive column, “What was being said in whispers till now, has come out in the open, with such an announcement. Indeed, Ms Mayawati’s pic deserves to be there on the ad hoardings of beauty parlours not only in India but also in nations like Zimbabwe, Nigeria and Uganda. Her statues are a treat to tourists.”

The state’s beauty parlour association, Billu Parlours for Beauty (BPB) General Secretary Mrs. Shanno Rani expressed her gratitude to Mayawati saying, “I am a fan of Maya Ji, and she is simply so beautiful, I mean….theres a saying…. ‘if only looks could kill.., in that case she would have been a murderer’….”.

About the author

Adarsh Ladda

A CA student, and also doing B Com, from Delhi Univ. Loves writing, reading (newspapers and fiction), travelling. Loves following cricket (though extremely bad at playing it!). Is a foodie, loves eating Indian spiceworks! Doesnt miss out on movies, and is an ardent lover of music. Plays synthesizer fluently and is also learning guitar.


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