Educational reforms proposed in IITs and IIMs to make life interesting for students

Top league professors in the IITs and IIMs have conducted a study on the famous American Pie series and have made surprising discoveries and conclusions. “Influx of foreign college culture in India has taken a huge toll on students. They now want to live the awesome Western life among hotties,” said the chairman of the research committee. The committee has identified the lack of an “eye-raising” life as one of the reasons for the poor performance of students. They have proposed some very brave changes in the academic structure and some are already under implementation. A copy of these new amendments was released in the press on Thursday. Here’s an overview of some of the educational reforms:

1. Fraternity houses – Institutes should start frat houses for the students. Its a very popular concept in the West and it is high time that it comes to India. The kids need something “extra” and what better than a frat house. “We wish to see the kids enjoying,” says the report.
2. Maal quota – This proposal is aimed at addressing the problem of on-campus scarcity of the fairer sex. A special 10% reservation for girls with exceptional looks has been proposed. “In the era of reality shows, this could be done with one such show called something like Who wants to be an IITian hottie, with the grand finale on the same day as the JEE. The money earned from this venture will be used for opening bars and pubs in the campus so that more students get drunk and create nuisance with the girls,” says the report.

These eyes might soon open with the proposed guest lecturers in colleges

3. Guest lecturers – This will bring an end to the very boring lectures in which most students sleep. Institutes are planning deals with popular personalities like Jenna Jameson, Priya Rai, etc for taking lecture classes to simulate extra interest in the students. These future professors have also shown interest in increasing the practical content in the course. “Anybody can teach from the books, but only specific people can teach from their looks,” the report observed.
4. Co-ed hostels – Finally India is moving on. For the first time in India a college will feature co-ed hostels wherein boys and girls will live on the same floor, in the same room itself. This amendment is being seen as a step to increase the general happiness level among the students.
5. Calendars – IITs and IIMs have also tied up with Kingfisher to search for new talent and have asked Dabboo Ratnani to help out. And there are rumours that the female students will be posing for Ratnani’s Special College Edition Calendars. This is intended to increase the glamour quotient.
6. The IITian Stiffler – A special judging panel should choose from every batch a guy who has shown guts throughout his stay in college and has at least once peed on a professor’s face and is still a virgin.
7. The creation of an altogether new branch called “Female and Sexual Engineering” has been proposed. It is intended to enhance the capabilities of the students in this field.

This report has caused a stir in the teaching community. IIT-D and IIT-B have shown a lot of interest in the report. Experts say that since these two institutions happen to be located in the two major metropolitans of the country, they see this scenario as their chance to take up the responsibility to lead the way to a new and prosperous world for the smart kid of the country. Since IITs happen to be the leaders in academic policy making, very soon we can expect many other colleges following the their footsteps.

“If each proposed measure is taken, colleges can surely boast of better placement opportunities very soon,” said the report.

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Kartik Anand


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