#India #Politics

Indo-Pak talks result in something constructive – a marriage proposal


Overshooting everyone’s expectations (which were none!), the Indo-Pak talks have resulted into both parties agreeing onto something. The Foreign Ministers S M Krishna and S M Qureshi announced in a joint press conference that, continuing the tradition started by Sania Mirza and Shoaib Malik, Fatima Bhutto will marry an Indian to strengthen the cultural ties between the two nations. The positive result has rubbished beliefs that these talks are nothing but an excuse for the officials of both sides, to hang out over beer  and booze bought with the taxpayer’s money.

“Fatima or Jemima Khan? Make up your mind India!” 
Sources say S M Krishna asked whether they
could give Jemima instead of Fatima.
Jemima is former wife of cricketer Imran Khan.  

Some say this is Pakistan’s revenge for marrying Sania with Shoaib. Sania caused Shoaib to get remain out of form and he lost focus. He was even dropped from the team for 1st Test versus Australia because of this. Pakistan wants to give India a taste of the same medicine by marrying Fatima to a top Indian cricketer just before the World Cup 2011. It is a cakewalk for them to delay the decision by a year, as many dossiers will be requested from India and rejected with no reason whatsoever.

There are speculations that initially Pakistan had planned to target skipper Dhoni himself but now that he is married to a 20-year-old child childhood friend, Yuvraj Singh and Gautam Gambhir are the only top contenders left. Munaf Patel, Ishant Sharma and Ravindra Jadeja were not considered as now you don’t need any distraction to get them out of form – they hardly get it.

Reportedly, S M Krishna first suggested Rahul Gandhi for the marriage, but then he received a phone call from Delhi saying Rahul is looking for a boy instead of a girl. Then he named actors like Aftab Shivdasani, Fardeen Khan, Tusshar Kapoor and Sohail Khan, as none of them is contributing anything to the society and nobody would even notice if anything happens to them. According to reports, Vivek Oberoi has also expressed willingness, on the condition that an exhaustive background research be done on Fatima to confirm she has no relation, howsoever distant, in this or last 7 births, with Salman Khan. His dad Suresh treats this as the last opportunity to get a wife and fame for him. Meanwhile, a television channel wondered whether we’ll have a TV swayamvar for the purpose, with the judging panel consisting of esteemed people who know the value of marriage as an institution, like Rahul Mahajan, Raja Choudhary, Tiger Woods, Mahesh Bhupathi and Vijay Mallya.

Nitya-ananda Paramahansa and N D Tiwari have also 
expressed wish to throw their hats in the ring, both 
claiming to be virgin among other relevant qualifications

Qureshi also said that being ladkiwaale (from the bride’s side), they very well understand the intricacies associated with the Dowry System. They have already pleaded for financial aid from US to be able to afford the dowry. The first dossier in a series of many to come also has a detailed description about the dowry that will be given. It includes 2 made-in-China tanks, 7 made-in-China AK-47s, 51 made-in-China hand grenades, one good-for-nothing made-in-Pakistan missile, one small-range well-functioning nuclear bomb illegally smuggled from US and 15793 Indian dossiers sent after 26/11 rolled up as toilet paper.

(Photo courtesy: Screenshots from NDTV India | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4)

About the author

Bijender Sheoran

I am a 23 years old Mechanical Engineer from IIT Kanpur, currently working in Noida. I like to try my hand at a diverse range of things and my interest keeps changing from time to time. I have been a part of IITK's cultural festival (Antaragni) and technical festival (Techkriti) while in college. A big movie buff and loves watching TV serials, Lost and Hustle are my favorite, reads anything and everything and getting addicted to Facebook and twitter.


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