After Paul the Octopus from Germany, Mani the Parrot from Singapore, Harry the Crocodile from Australia, now its India’s turn. Next in the list is Tommy the Dog from India.
Yes, the stray dog in my locality has picked me over Shwetank (a friend) to win in an arm-wrestling game. Apparently dogs have a heightened sense of smell which empowers them with psychic power. A dog chooses the would-be winner by licking their feet. Ever since I have been picked (“licked”) by this dog, my confidence to beat Shwetank has increased tremendously. Considering so many animals are predicting correctly these days, Shwetank accepted defeat without even a match.
I’m just back from the studio of India TV, which shot a special show based on this, to be telecast tomorrow, (half an hour long, repeat broadcast every half an hour for two full days), titled “Hum kutte kisi se kam nahi” (“We dog reporters are no less”).
Animals all over the world seem to be saying, “When will my turn come?”
Paul the Octopus is, however, furious at how parrots and crocodiles were unheard of earlier, but have got a direct wild card entry to the World Cup final, in the race of predicting the winner. His master says Paul had refused to make the prediction for the final match, as he had himself created the market and carved out a niche for himself by continuous performance of the level seen only among investment bankers, but when market demand started rising, he had to melt under the pressure, and chose Spain as the winner.
Non-believers have asserted that predicting results of football matches is easy as you always have 50% probability of getting it right. If these animals are really psychic they should predict the winning combination for a lottery where odds are one against 15 million. However, the media has safely chosen to ignore this minority of non-believers.
Farmers in a certain Indian village were very happy when they came to know about the psychic power of so many animals and they immediately wanted the Agriculture Ministry to procure one for correctly predicting the Great Indian Monsoons. But when approached, ministry officials informed that Sharad Pawar was currently in New York, interviewing for a third pastime job, this time with the UN, as he still doesn’t have enough on his plate.
The HRD Ministry is also planning to get a Paul for itself, so that they find out they fulfil their obsession with the IITs by finding out which institute actually taught the JEE topper, rather than later appointing CBI to look into the coaching institutes’ claims. When someone wondered why the CBI, which had loads of pending cases, did research over the IITs, which offer their seats only to 0.3% of all Class XII students, the Minister Kapil Sibal told him to shut up.