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Paul the Octopus held on suspicion of match-fixing


Paris: 

Early morning today, the German police have arrested Paul the Octopus on suspicion of match fixing. The arrest was made after a complaint by Fédération Internationale de Football Association’s (FIFA) anti-corruption bureau. The octopus is currently causing a stir because of its correct predictions of the winner of the games that involved Germany in the World Cup. The famous octopus is suspected of being involved with the underworld, although his methods is not at all understandable.

One piece each of mussel was kept in two different plastic boxes before each match. The boxes were attached with flags of the two countries, one being of Germany and another being of its opponent. And the box selected by the hungry octopus is assumed to be the predicted winner. It is still unknown who started the practice, and why that person does not use the octopus to know the results of all football matches played on earth. The octopus has been successful every time except once in 2008 Euro Final, when, according to investigating sleuths, a female octopus was kept in the box with the German flag, so he chose to sit there instead of the one with food. Spain won.

At first, it was widely believed that it was luck and a coincidence that Paul’s predictions came true. But when Germany beat tournament favourites England, there were murmurs in the English camp that something was not right. President of FIFA, Joseph S. Blatter ordered an immediate and thorough enquiry on complaints received by the England football team management. Now after the semi-final where Germany lost, German fans are also starting to feel the air of match fixing.

The authority of the aquarium where the octopus lives happily, enjoying the fact that he gets more attention than Ronaldo and Messi,  has rubbished such claims. “Take him to India and make him an astrologer, or to Vatican and make him a priest, and you will say he is involved in a sex scandal. We are from the country of Einstein, and we must realise that science hasn’t yet advanced so much that octopuses do underworld and sex scams,” said museum 

After proper investigations and the proof obtained from yesterday’s match of Germany against Spain, the view that Paul is involved in match fixing was strengthened beyond doubt. As per the latest press statement, FIFA has handed Paul to its Anti Corruption department and they are investigating further in this issue. A full and final report by the intelligence agency is expected by next week.


(Ketan blogs here. This is the edited form of a post first written by him on his blog)

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Ketan Katira

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