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In third year of college, this nerd has no idea where the canteen is


A third-year engineering student was attacked by a bunch of youth last night for extraordinary reasons. The attackers, a group of students from another college, alleged that Suresh Sinha, 20, had told them the way to the college principal’s campus residence instead of telling the way to the canteen.

Sinha is a third-year Mechanical Engineering student of Imperial College of Engineering. His ignorance about the location of the college canteen has been described by classmates as an extreme condition of “nerdism”, locally called “ghissuism”.

What happened: During “Imperialism”, the annual college fest on Wednesday evening, a group of visiting students from another college wanted to go to the canteen, and asked Sinha the way. Not having the slightest idea, Sinha told them the way to the college principal’s residence instead. The group happened to be drunk after a severe booze session at a fest event, and were caught but let off. The visitors then retraced the boy and beat him up. The boy escaped unhurt, but is under severe trauma since his spectacles were broken, and so he hasn’t been able to start the assignments for the December winter vacation today.

Reactions: College officials expressed shock, and have suspended Suresh for a week for misguiding visitors, instead of putting him in the canteen for few days. Sinha has been described as a very poor type of nerd by his classmates. “I’ve never been to the canteen,” he defended himself, “I bring the lunch box my mother gives, and eat it quietly in the library. I never even wondered where the canteen was. People usually take my notebooks to copy and complete assignments. So, in a way, my notebooks have been to the canteen more than I have.”

“Just like he didn’t know where the canteen is, we didn’t know he was in our class until a few days back. We decided to have a mass bunk that day, but later on a guy saw him trying to enter the classroom by hiding away from us. He was creeping towards the class like a cat. We beat him up badly then as well,” said the class representative Mayank Chandra. A student who knew Suresh better, told us, “It seems all the teachers are his close friends, but still the loser failed three of his papers last semester.”

A modern-day nerd may not score
well due to the faulty examination
system, say psychologists

The Ghissu Psychology: As more people got to know about his three backlogs despite being a seemingly-studious nerd, Sinha’s mother told NTMN, “My son goes to college to maintain 100% attendance. He spends time being in the library, because I have told him to do so. I do that so that he doesn’t get into bad company. Whenever he gets a phone call, I pick it up, to keep him away from girls.”

Nerds all across colleges were under ridicule all Thursday, without they themselves knowing anything about it. “With the new system of studies, modern-day nerds are more enthusiastic about just their attendance and impression on teachers. They might not be so brainy,” said a psychologist.


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Tanay Sukumar

I founded this website in 2009. I served as Editor-in-Chief from November 2009 to May 2013.
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