Kasab refuses to pee and spit on anything other than the video camera

Ajmal Aamir Kasab’s weird tantrums continued on Friday as he refused to pee and spit on anything other than a video camera. His lawyer has, thus, cited health scare for his client today. Kasab is accused in the 26/11 Mumbai siege case, and is one of the biggest assets yet to the Indian news media. His pleas, concerns and other fascinating aspects of his royal life are being carefully heard to and covered by the press; and so, his latest threat is a bolt from the blue for the authorities.

“I’m an entertainer here. I spit and they enjoy”
“My client His Highness Ajmal Kasab has told me that he enjoyed the few moments he spent the other day spitting on the webcam during the video hearing,” said his lawyer Amin Solkar, “He has, since then, been fantasising over the idea of peeing on it as well. He expressed his lack of trust in the Indian commodes, and said that using video cameras for every such purpose is his new year resolution for 2012. He has also expressed his lack of trust in the High Court. So, it would be very generous of the judge to arrange another hearing at a place where Kasab finds himself comfortable.” 

“If obeyed, he would go to hell with really good memories of the Indian judiciary. He is really feeling happy and enjoying himself and India’s hospitality, as he earlier showed by giggling his heart out.”

The lawyer also narrated some other tantrums to expect from Kasab very soon. We’ve summarised them below:
1) Kasab has told his lawyer that he was approached to become a Bigg Boss contestant in one of his dreams. 
2) “He also has hope of making it to Bollywood some time soon, and that’s why his interest in the camera,” said the lawyer.
3) He wants a McDonald’s outlet at Arthur Road Jail.
4) He expressed his hate for Rakhi Sawant. “He showed mental well-being and proved all his critics wrong, by saying he has no faith in Rakhi ka Insaaf.
4) He is hoping to get an appointment with Obama on his November visit to India. “I have tried to convince him that Obama won’t be able to help him, but he keeps insisting that Osama bin Laden succeeded Bush as the US President,” said Solkar.

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Tanay Sukumar

I founded this website in 2009. I served as Editor-in-Chief from November 2009 to May 2013.
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