A 21-year-old student asks: Chachi, yesterday I came across my primary school crush on Facebook. Her relationship status said she is committed. I stared at her DP for a long time and then I felt I have a crush on her once again. In her DP, she was with her boyfriend. And that guy seemed to be an idiot. What should I do? Should I add her?

Chachi speaks — Now that’s like a good stalker! You “came across” her profile or “searched” for her, dear? You do seem like a primary school kid. Beta, are you sure that guy was an idiot? Haye Haye!! How innocent of you! He took away your girl and you think he is an idiot!

You asked “Should I add her?” Lo ji, now if you don’t add her, you think she will add you? Go on, add her! Adding girls is so fun, isn’t it, my dear boy? Having one more girl on your friends list can make superstars out of next door boys like you. And remember, girls will never add you; it’s always the boys who add up girls, unless you are Shah Rukh Khan or Salman Khan or a girl’s fake profile. Even I didn’t propose to your Chachaji, he did. 

And stare at the girl’s DP for some more time, make it a morning exercise. While staring at her, chant this ancient mantra four times: “I am an idiot.” It would help in keeping your testosterone levels normal.  

By the way, is that girl still pretty? I used to be ugly in primary school, but now I’m so beautiful… I thought girls beautiful in childhood become uglier when they grow up?