(Rather, Gloucestershire, England. But really, who cares!)
Lived the dame with the aim to claim fame
And sabotage all evil plans and Stephenie Meyers.
She eyed the town’s beau — her prince in shining armour,
Though a hundred years had worn out all shine and bling.
Yet he was her life’s one love (love IS blind then),
The hero of the tale — a Bumblebee or Dumble-something.
Her heart went out to kiss just once
His wrinkled lips and toothless mouth (hello, weird!)
To swim (rather float) in his cataract-y eyes,
Or lose herself in the metres of grey beard.
Now enter the villain (yep in true Bolly style)
A slimy thing with greasy hair (you can call him Snape)
He hugged our hero, all happy and “gay”,
And as they waltzed, all she could do was swear and gape.
With a broken heart (and perhaps damaged brain),
She built her fantasy world brick by brick,
Wrote a zillion pages about some Happy Rotter,
Became the world’s most-loved schizophrenic.
Her hallucinations took her to this crazy zoo,
Where dogs, stags, wolves and rats you’ll find,
And ghosts and humans (with poor fashion sense),
Even talking pictures (God bless her delusional mind!)
She scribbled her way through countless obese books;
Their weight sank the Titanic — or so I hear.
And as far as mindless dramas go,
This one’s on her way to beat Shakespeare!