#Sports

Pakistani wicketkeeper vanishes from behind stumps on live TV during ODI


Magic on field gets Haider an offer from Pakistan’s Quidditch team, retires from cricket

Dubai: 

Pakistan’s wicketkeeper Zulqarnain Haider mysteriously disappeared from behind stumps  on live TV, after a ball delivered by a bowler easily sailed towards the boundary. The incident happened during Pakistan’s 5th ODI against South Africa at their guesthouse “home”, UAE. However, Haider was later found wicketkeeping for South Africa in the 2nd innings. This, he said, was done on instructions of bookies.

The incident
Zulqarnain Haider guided Pakistan to their thrilling victory, Pakistan v South Africa, 4th ODI, Dubai, November 5, 2010
“Pakistani Muggles are the most
magical people,” said the Pakistan
Minister for Magic.
Image courtesy: AFP
When umpires asked the captain to place another player as wicketkeeper, a team member assured them, “Nothing to worry. 11 overs are over, and just 19 overs are left, so we can play without wicketkeeper.” (It was a 50-over-match, and this statement displayed the player’s mathematical genius.) However, an embarrassed South African captain Graeme Smith came out and said there should be a wicketkeeper for a fair competition, so Umar Akmal kept wickets later.

Haider’s Facebook status update
Meanwhile, reports came in about Zulqarnain Haider posting a status update in his own version of English on Facebook. The post is not yet understandable, even after Haider has been found. He wrote, “Leaving Pak cricket for bad msg for one man for lose last match” [sic]. Apparently he meant — nothing.

Zulqarnain HaiderHaider’s whereabouts
Later in the evening, Haider was found keeping for South Africa, while the South African wicketkeeper was kidnapped (and later released). He was paid by bookies to do so. He said he had disappeared during the drinks break according to the contract.

Haider gets offer from Quidditch team, retires from cricket
Haider, today afternoon, announced his retirement from cricket because he had been signed by Pakistan’s Quidditch team for his magical abilities like disappearing from a live cricket match. “We would like to hire all our sportsmen to Quidditch, because all of them have unbelievable magical properties, like disappearing suddenly, dropping easy catches, losing and blaming it on the crowd, and darker magic like fixing and sometimes beating strong teams unexpectedly,” said the Pakistani Minister for Magic, Kaneria Fudge. “The people want all sports fixed now, and it’s a great idea to employ Muggles in the wizarding world. Pakistani Muggles are the most magical people.”

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Tanay Sukumar

I founded this website in 2009. I served as Editor-in-Chief from November 2009 to May 2013.
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