#Politics

PM wakes up from sleep after 6 years, as nation cheers with pomp and show


New Delhi: 
The date November 19 has been declared National Awakening Day by netizens in India, as Prime Minister Manmohan Singh was found stretching himself vigorously on his bed after having slept off in deep silence over six years ago. Close sources say the PM’s deep sleep was broken by a sudden bad nightmare in which the Supreme Court asked him to explain certain things which he couldn’t. (All his other dreams had been happy.) The PM’s awakening is being celebrated with great pomp and show all over the country. Arnab Goswami is eager to rope him in for News Hour expert opinions, since others’ silence is his asset on his show.

It is well-known that Mr Singh fell asleep in May 2004 when Sonia Gandhi gifted him the PM’s office. Medical experts had explained it back then as a childish excuse since Singh felt like a “scapegoat”. As time passed, the faked sleep became genuine sleep, and Manmohan Singh has been sleeping since then. Mediapersons who spent time with the sleeping Prime Minister in his bedroom to cover his sleep, reported that he was so dumb that he didn’t even snore once all these years.

Mr Singh just before he fell
asleep, in May 2004.
However, recently, a report broke out that Mr Singh was feeling uncomfortable in sleep. His beautiful expressions were fading away and his face showed signs of restlessness. As the world watched with bated breath the live telecast of the PMO bedroom, the PM opened his eyes slowly, performed an agitated angdaai, and started looking for Sonia Gandhi and Rahul Gandhi. He said that these two were his favourite characters in everything that took place in his beautiful dreams all these years. All his adventures in dreamland were ably supported by the two heroes, said a spokesperson for Singh’s brain.

A team of psychologists hurriedly set down to interview Singh, so that they can write an account of his long slumber. “People forget dreams very soon; and he must be having a lot to tell. We didn’t want to waste time, so started interviewing him straightaway. Initial reports suggest that his happiest dream was being elected PM some time in May 2009, and his sleeping face had the biggest smile when he dreamed of Obama being here, circa November 2010. In fact people say he never ever showed any tension, since people were continuously singing out lullabies for him. This week’s nightmare finally woke him up,” said an expert.

Reports claim “the Dreams of Manmohan Singh” have the ability to sell huge, if made into a movie or book. The book will have no mention of anything wrong, because the PM was honest and silent in dreams as well (the reason behind his constant neglect of dreams like the Nightmare of Thackeray’s Hate Parade and the Adventure of Remaining Raja by Ignoring Raja, which could make footnotes instead of chapters).

To celebrate the PM’s awakening, the self-dependent Twitterati declared the day as National Awakening Day, which they will celebrate every year.

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Tanay Sukumar

I founded this website in 2009. I served as Editor-in-Chief from November 2009 to May 2013.
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