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Dhoni lashes out at media, denies Durban win is a New Year gift for fans


Durban: 
Dhoni about to puke on the
idea of giving new year gifts
After India’s emphatic 87-run win over South Africa today, Indian skipper Mahendra Singh Dhoni severely hit out at the Indian television media for telling viewers that the win was the team’s New Year gift for cricket fans. He said it is an example of irresponsible reporting. “It wasn’t even blowing out of proportions or getting misquoted, because no one even mentioned gifts, so where did they imagine this whole idea in their mind?! We don’t give a shit about giving gifts to people who can throw stones at our houses if we lose the World Cup!” wondered Dhoni in the post-match press conference.

Since yesterday evening, several news channels had been running headlines such as “Men in Blue two wickets away from gifting nation historic New Year gift”. Some channels said so even after their official astrologers had said that India would lose the match. “It gave the common Indian a bad image that the team has time to spare from cricket to think about gifts,” said Dhoni. The whole conversation that took place during the press conference:

Reporter: Mahi, you must be glad winning for just the second time in South Africa. A great new year gift for fans back there in India, you think?
M S Dhoni: Glad about winning, yes. But what about new year gift?
Reporter: The win is Team India’s New Year gift to fans.
Dhoni: Who told you? And when is New Year? Cricketers are so overworked that our year is long as a decade. To know what’s a New Year, we have to underperform or get injured. No other way out. We don’t know when years end and begin.
And, man, even if New Year’s coming, what’s with this “gift” thing? Who are we to give you gifts, and who are you to have gifts from us? You think we are Santa Clauses out here, reading your letters and winning matches for you?

Dhoni lamented the death of public support in bad times. He asked, “What if we had lost this Test? You’d have abused us badly, and gone on to tell people that Team India has spoiled India’s New Year. It’s useless to tell you, that we just play our best, and have no intentions of spoiling your day or year, because we’re not your wife. We are not your girlfriends either that we’ll want to make it good for you. WE JUST PLAY, because we are machines, get it?” The skipper yelled, losing his cool.

Later, Hashim Amla, South African batsman who got a refrigerator for playing his 50th Test, said, “Since they’ve given me a fridge for my batting, I was going to bat with the fridge instead of a cricket bat in the next match. But now, I better send it to the Indian dressing room to cool down their moods.”

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Tanay Sukumar

I founded this website in 2009. I served as Editor-in-Chief from November 2009 to May 2013.
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