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Sachin Tendulkar to donate half of his runs to lesser batsmen and charity


Indian batting maestro Sachin Tendulkar, who got his 50th Test century yesterday, has announced that he would soon be giving away (“donating”) half of his runs to lesser batsmen and to charity.

Tendulkar has made the decision in order to save the energy spent in hundreds of television debates and thousands of marketplace discussions over who is the greatest batsman in the world. He has once again proved that Mark Zuckerberg (who donated half his wealth to charity recently) is indeed the “meano” as shown in The Social Network, because cricket runs, any day, give more cheer than money to people.

An act of kindness by God — millions
of poor-but-cricket-fan in India
are expected to benefit
by Sachin’s run-donation camp

“Most people who discuss the greatest batsman ever, have no idea of cricket at all — so they have only statistics and primary-level math at their defence,” explained the Little Master to the press. “If I have lesser runs to my name, I would no longer be considered ‘great’ by them, so no discussions. So, I have decided to donate half of my runs to newbies, oldies and the needy like Suresh Raina, Ricky Ponting, Ravindra Jadeja and S Sreesanth. Some runs will also go to charity, since there are fans to whom my runs matter more than a good state of life. It would be great to see how they use my runs to improve their life.”

Sachin, being the God of cricket, is confident he will be able to manage the transfer of runs from his account to the accounts of other cricketers. The International Cricket Council (ICC) has not issued any comments yet. But, several bowlers are hopeful of soon being seen as all-rounders in their teams with some more runs under their name. Irfan Pathan, recently not picked for World Cup 2011, said, “It gives me an opportunity to get into the team as at least a batsman. It would be better if Sachin paji donates me his wickets as well — that would get me in more easily.”

Sachin’s name, for this act of benevolence, is being debated once again for the Bharat Ratna award. It may be noted that this was last debated by televisions in February 2010 after his ODI double century. For the interim ten months, either Sachin didn’t deserve the Bharat Ratna, or news channels had news to show. Around 250 news reports of national importance have been compromised with by several news channels to accommodate debates over the Bharat Ratna, over the last two days. Remarkably, Sachin’s fans love to watch the repeat telecasts as well because the great batsman has rendered them useless and jobless. Amidst this stupidity, removing some runs from Sachin’s tally is expected to ease the pressure off the stats-loving media and fans.


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Tanay Sukumar

I founded this website in 2009. I served as Editor-in-Chief from November 2009 to May 2013.
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