Auction of Emotions: Rich Indians win Happiness and Joy; Conscience, Morality go unsold

By
Tanay Sukumar
– January 13, 2011Posted in: News in Brief, The News Pages, The Political Drama
[News in Brief] Bangalore: 
In the much-hyped auction of several positive Human Emotions (such as Happiness, Joy, Satisfaction and Onion-Tears), the “Rich Royals”, despite being just 10% of the population, have tasted comprehensive success in all their bids. The “Wannabes” (a.k.a. the middle-class, around 50%) made ambitious bids for most Emotions, but had to pull out every time. The “Poors” (40%), though, seemed more interested than the other groups to buy all happiness available, but were unable to make even a single bid, limited by their small purse of Rs 1 lakh. The media has declared it a huge evidence of the “India Shining” hypothesis, rejoicing as there do exist people rich enough to buy happiness. “This auction certainly proves that India is soon to become a superpower,” observed a leading newspaper. The world outside India has been duly told by journalists that India is a rich nation with just traces of poverty.

Money can buy happiness

The much-hyped auction, which took place here over seven hours, here in Bangalore, was open to all Indian citizens. Each citizen was placed in one of the three groups of bidders based on their income. However, there were rumours that several rich people were forcibly classified into the group of “Poors” on grounds of falling into categories known as “reserved”. The auction opened with bids for Happiness, with a base price of Rs 80 lakh. As the auction was being telecast on TV, banks announced cheaper loan rates. The “Wannabes”, on receiving the news, bid, but were soon out-bid (Rs 1 crore) by the Royals. Joy and Satisfaction got sold for Rs 50 lakh and Rs 2 lakh respectively. Some very priceless expensive commodities like Conscience, Morality and Goodness went unsold. The Royals were not interested, and the others didn’t have enough money despite being interested. Sources said the auctioned samples of Happiness and Joy might be adulterated.

Another commodity, Two Indias was not announced by the auctioneer, who believed it was a prank. The auctioneer was a rich person who told NTMN that he has spent all his life in big metropolitan cities.

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By Tanay Sukumar