#Society #Such-is-Life

Humans undergo massive change in characteristics after new Zodiac chart comes out


The complicated problem: Zodiac
still affects people’s lives more
than they themselves do

The news that your zodiac sign may be different from what you thought it to be, has resulted in people changing in behaviour with immediate effect. Lucky people have suddenly decided that they might be unlucky, and people who thought only bad things happen to them, are brimming with confidence. Over 2000 separated couples have reunited, and a similar number of happy ones have separated over the past two days, in USA alone. The plastic surgery industry is also suffering, as many people have realised beauty can be attained by a free Zodiac change instead of an expensive surgery.


Astrologers: Astrologers have mixed opinions about whether to believe the new Zodiac chart or not. Some have announced the basic character trait of the new Zodiac sign — “Ophiucuses are slow in learning; they take a hell lot of time to learn how to pronounce and spell the name of their own Zodiac sign.” Others have simply denied the role of Ophiucus in astrology, saying, “Astrology is anyway imaginary. So such things won’t affect our study. Let the astronomers deal with constellations in the sky, we’ll deal with the constellations in the book.”

Daruwalla is afraid no one
will buy this book now

Bejan Daruwalla, well-known astrologer, said he has found the reason why his predictions have been failing recently. “I followed the old Zodiac, so I got it all wrong till now. But not any more. But what the hell! This should have come up two months back! If the world gets to know about Ophiucus in January, who’ll buy my books of 2011 predictions!” 


Astrologers are accepting or rejecting the new Zodiac based on a number of reasons. TV astrology in India apparently hasn‘t been affected, as it is based on scripts instead of science. Fortune-tellers whose predictions don’t work are looking at Ophiucus as a potential game-changer, whereas a minority of astrologers who have been lucky in getting it right are suddenly insecure.

Relationships: Relationships have also faced tremendous changes in the past few days. “We were a Capricorn-Pisces pair till now, now we’re a Sagittarius-Aquarius pair. And it’s a good chance for me to get rid of her. So I’m showing that I’m a short-tempered person, and she thinks I’m shouting at her because my Zodiac has changed,” says 23-year-old Alex. Happily-married couples have suddenly stopped understanding each other, and are applying for divorce.

Youth: There is outrage among youth. One student, who used to believe he was an unlucky person, is telling everyone on Facebook that he is very lucky. “I am lucky, because I’m not a Gemini as I used to think. That day, my dog bit me, and I thought only bad things happen to me. But today, I realised that the dog was not rabid! I’m damn lucky!” he posted in one of his statuses where he’s justifying past “unlucky” things that were actually “lucky”. Another student, who failed in an exam that took place in November, is demanding that the exam be redone, because he has undergone a Zodiac change.

About the author

Tanay Sukumar

I founded this website in 2009. I served as Editor-in-Chief from November 2009 to May 2013.
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