Aurum asks Chachi: Chachi, chachi, I want you to help me out, as I’m very unhappy. See, how old I am. Only 14 — which is the growing age of any child, you know this, right? But my parents don’t seem to understand this! Or they ignore it as they don’t love me. 
You can see my picture I’ve sent along, for proof. I asked my maid aunty’s son to click it. See how weak I have become. My complexion has also become dark because am always so weak, depressed and crying. Even after all this, when I ask mommy or daddy to give me a little to eat, they refuse simply! Mom starts either scolding me or dad, dad starts scolding mom (“sab tumhare hi laad pyaar ka asar hai!“) and they both start playing the blame game of whose kid I am. (“tumhara hi beta hai!!“…”nahi! tumhara beta hai!“). And I get confused as to who my parents are, you see, I should know na so I can ask my real parents to give me food. And in all this confusion my little brother, (who is so weak that I don’t understand how is he still living! :O), starts making horns on my head with his little hands (that look like chips to me) and shouting, “Yay!! Bhaiyya looks like a perfect hippo!”. But I don’t get angry as I like eating Hippo chips, then I ask momma and papa to get me Hippo chips and they start their debate again.
So this keeps happening again and again and… and everybody forgets me. And I remain hungry. Tell me Chachi, is this fair being done to a little, innocent child? :’(
Chachi speaks: Haye haye! What are the kids of today upto, hard to even imagine! Aurum dear, I saw your photo and with all the “love” this Chachi wants to name you “Dholak” after seeing it!!
Dholak puttar, you maybe in your growing age logically but factually, in terms of width you’re way past the growing limits!! I’d say your so-called ‘growth’ better stop soon or this nation will die of starvation one day or we’ll have with us the 8th wonder of the world in you. Haye rabba!
Tell your parents that this wise Chachi has suggested that instead of fighting among themselves like bulls, they better control their hippopotamus or else your home will become a cattle house soon. (Don’t ask them who the hippopotamus is, it’s not chips.)
You called your brother so weak that you’re surprised to see him alive, so I imagine he would be at least normal, which is good, at least your parents didn’t repeat the mistake, for their own good. And please dear, your brother’s hands are just small, they aren’t chips for real, so don’t eat them!! Won’t be tasty.
I saw in your pic all that you ‘don’t’ get to eat. Now one day YOU take a picture of your maid’s son, who clicked this for you. and then, don’t send it to me. Just see, see how many such chips-packets, chocolates, comics, cookies, toys, shoes and stuff are there all around him. If you can’t see any of these things in his pic, measure his waist size approximately. I can imagine it to be roughly the size of your right arm, or less, maybe. The poor child sitting on your lap, would make a similar picture like this: a kid on a sofa, except that the kid here is least like a ‘kid’.
This is sad dear, not easy to make fun of, even for me, ‘coz you kids don’t understand what all you have that most others don’t have. Your one-time snack doesn’t seem anything less than a poor kid’s dinner my boy, it’s a lot more in fact. And then you say your parents don’t love you. While I wish that had they given your upbringing a little more thought, they’d have known that ‘loving’ doesn’t mean ‘obeying’ your kids, that too so much so that they don’t even know how privileged they are in this world! And now, it’s only natural for you to act so greedy.
It’s kids like you who, sitting in their school buses and peeping out of its windows, show the middle finger to those walking on the road, while the not so-lucky ones burn hands in stoves and factories.
But, on second thoughts, am only banging my head against a wall. (Is that wall your huge stomach?) You don’t exactly come across as the high IQ prodigy with any genius or even a basic understanding of life to be able to figure out what am saying. So you better get out of here and not remind me of the sad state, or else my jhaadu and belan have been eating dust for too long now. Grr…
By Sugandha
ProblemAtique #9 | Chachi and the boy who wants to eat more and more
– January 8, 2011Posted in: ProblemAtique, The Back Page
i feel proud to of my illustration as the fat kid got me associated with problematique;)