Liking an idiotic Facebook page makes actress “Breaking News” material for news channel

Rakhi Sherawat, a small-time TV actor and also a lead background dancer in C-grade Hindi-Bhojpuri movies has, of late, been getting a bigger dose of fame and limelight from the media as well as the audience, than what her work would’ve fetched in a lifetime. And the credit should apparently go to Mark Zuckerberg and our swifter-than-a-leopard Hindi news channels and print media.

A news channel copies Moon
News’ exclusive material

On the 5th of this month, when Rakhi’s boyfriend dumped her, irritated by her real-life “skills” in acting, dramatics and tantrums, little did he know that he was actually helping her become an overnight star. The boyfriend Abhishek Sasti is a wealthy business tycoon’s son, but unemployed and useless otherwise. Rakhi got so depressed and broken by this, that while on Facebook, getting no replies from any of the guys she had pinged with “Hii sweety ♥, how are you?” messages, she “liked” a link somewhere, that showed up in the news feed of all of the 5000 people in her friend list (4000 of who, our sources reveal, were added by her only).

Deepak Navrasiya, head journalist and news reporter for Moon News, who is also in Rakhi’s friend list noticed this and decided to take action immediately. In no time, Moon News was seen screening the hot breaking news of a ‘star’ break-up. Navrasiya told NTMN, “When I saw on my feed, Rakhi Sherawat likes ‘I don’t love you, but I miss the times we were together, with me slapping you on national television’ on , I knew a hot new piece of news was underway. With the kind of experience that I have in this industry, it’s not hard to predict what happenings have the potential of emerging big and earning us bigger (TRPs). Up next, I was in office urging everyone to offer their best inputs in order to make this news a big and spicy success. During this, a moron even tried to suggest covering a petty series of farmer suicides in some village giving reasons that, such reports challenge our moral and ethical duties as the media and BLAH. Seeing his lack of seriousness towards our job, I quickly got him suspended. And now, he has been ordered to bring something like a dog falling into a pit, two pigeons falling in love, a crow shitting on a minister’s head or if nothing else, then inventing a new theory about the Earth and the Jupiter colliding and their residents shaking hands. Failing this, he’d be permanently fired. As for my news about Rakhi’s break up, it’s doing awesomely well, because even if viewers ridicule us for a moment, they are most intelligent. Every other news channel can be seen emulating it now, but of course, only we have the ‘exclusive’ title to boast of.”

Rakhi, in the meanwhile, is enjoying the newly found limelight. In the first press conference of her life, she told the media in her dramatic tone, “Oh my gods!!! I was so poor as a childs, we didn’t even had enough food for a day you know, I have struggling a lot, suffered a lot of pains! And now finally, I have got the fruit of my hard works. I’m famous, finally! Thank you Facebook, thank you Deepak! Thank you Moon News! Mwah!” [sic]

With ‘stars’ like Rakhi, the media as well as the audience, all thoroughly enjoying the trend that doesn’t seem likely to fade anywhere in the near future, there seems little hope for people like the poor farmers to get a little limelight. But that’s probably okay, since limelight is definitely not what they’re dying for.

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