Today, if I put forth the same exercise, you know exactly who I mean. For, even if The Poonam Pandey doesn’t know why they refer to Sachin Tendulkar as “God”, cricket has helped her assure herself of one thing—a promising future. For, a bright future costs just a publicity stunt, lack of shame, and a Twitter account in the current era.
Two days ago, Miss Pandey, a model by profession, evidently a-publicity-seeker-at-the-slightest-opportunity by attitude, promised a billion-strong cricket-crazy nation that if the World Cup comes to India, she would strip down to exactly, and just—nothing more and nothing less thereof—what she was sent to earth with, nineteen years ago.
On Saturday, if India loses, she walks out a braveheart, whose “unbelieveably appreciable” guts were just let down by her Men in Blue. On Saturday, if India wins, and if she walks out naked as promised, she walks out a winner. On Saturday, if India wins, and if she suddenly garners enough modesty to break her promise to the nation, she, still, walks out a winner. (It’s a different matter, though, that saving one form of modesty, she loses another form of respect, in this case—that of not keeping a promise.)
Yes, today, Google doesn’t allow you more keystrokes than two (“PO…”) before it suggests her name in the most-searched keyword suggestions. Success, in the twenty-first century comes easy, if you have an idea. An idea to change your life. Morality and success broke up with each other long back, you see. Ask Rakhi Sawant. Ask Dolly Bindra. Ask Rahul Mahajan. Among the more sophisticated, ask Rajat Sharma of India TV, once a respected journalist, and now the killer of sane journalism for the sake of easy everything.
When modelling agencies all over the world make a long queue outside Poonam Pandey’s residence in few months’ time, when Poonam Pandey becomes the hot target of the cover of the Playboy and Maxim magazines in few weeks’ time, and when Poonam Pandey becomes a-95-year-old Hugh Hefner’s nth wife a decade later, ask Poonam Pandey. A masterstroke needs a minute of your time and imagination, and you reap the benefits for a whole life. She will be remembered by the modelling world for some time to come. A declaration to go naked can soon make a TV or Bollywood actress out of a girl who can’t act. Yes, acting these days is the easiest of show-business professions that you can get into, without deserving it. An actress who can’t act—a singer who can’t sing—an international celebrity—most sought after by fashion designers all over—en route to becoming a legendary figure. And that route, no doubt, began with that one idea. The idea to make a promise of going naked if India wins the World Cup.
The next time you feel you are down in life and nothing is going good around you, take up the courage, and declare something as ridiculous. No, more ridiculous. If you look ugly, no one cares even if you actually go nude or not (they’d rather prefer you don’t—imagine Dolly Bindra making the promise that Poonam Pandey made). But it will indeed bring you the attention of the world. If you look good, they’ll wait in anticipation for the naked mile. Try a better promise in that case, if you doubt whether you’ll fulfill it or not. For, in this age of publicity stunts, an out-of-favour actor’s promise to dance naked even in her closed bedroom can make her a superstar once again!