DGCA refuses to remove fake pilots, issues guidelines for flyers instead

“Beware!! The next flight you hop on to might have a pilot with a fake license.” is the new tag line of flight agencies. Due to the enormous number of fake licenses in circulation, the DGCA has decided to legalize non-approved licenses. To protect itself from prosecution, the above mentioned statutory warning will be printed on air tickets and the boarding passes.  However, this change will be introduced only in the domestic sector, to safeguard foreign visitors, who might freak out and get the airlines into trouble. Having close to 4000 pilots in all, Indian aviation is expected to set a Guinness record for the number of pilots with fake licenses.

Hence the DGCA has issued the following guidelines for flyers:

It's upto you, the flyer, to ensure this plane isn't taking you into the dark

1. The next time you decide to fly, please choose an airline with minimum fake pilots. This information will be available on the websites of all service providers.

2. While finalizing your ticket, please check the flight number and get the information about the pilot scheduled to fly you. You may use RTI for this purpose.

3. Please do not fall for offers of free booze or presence of cute air hostesses. These are ploys designed by airlines to get passengers. Safety first.

4. The passengers are also advised to carry The Bible, Bhagwad Geeta, Quran Shareef, Hanuman Chalisa or any other Holy book.

5. Please carry your own parachutes. No extra charges will be levied for the same. In case you cannot afford one, rental parachutes will be made available at the airports.

6. Please do not panic under any circumstances. Pilots who have fake licenses also can fly well—as is seen from the low frequency of air-crashes.

The DGCA has also decided to incorporate more pilots in its ‘amateur pilots scheme’. In order to circumvent danger when fake pilots fly, DGCA has decided to give flight training to air-host and hostesses, so that they may help the pilots when needed. The DGCA has also declared that any citizen who wishes to experience the joy of flying airplanes can get a license for an ‘appropriate’ license fee.

About the author

Aashish Aryan

Yep. That's about it.

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