P eople for Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) was reported to have filed two lawsuits against Bear Grylls on Friday. Bear Grylls, the star of the survival guide show Man vs. Wild was shocked to hear this news and had to cancel his rocket launch for a new series Man vs. Mars featuring his survival on planet Mars, feeding on extra-terrestrial life and sucking nutrients from red rocks. The lawsuits against Bear are, namely, one for animal cruelty, and the other for endangering the species of the adder snake (Vipera berus).
Bear Grylls
“Bear Grylls is a very cruel individual who has no respect for life of animals other than himself. Eating an animal alive is no way of surviving. The show that this man does is totally pointless. I mean, only a dumbass would dare to go out there—why can’t he just sit at home, play video games and wait for his mother to serve him something good to eat, like I do?!” wondered a PETA official on their official blog. “We’ve sent him many notices earlier, but he didn’t regard any. Another reason for suing him is because our reports have found that wherever he goes the population of adder snakes hits the endangered mark.”
In response to this, Grylls termed the whole episode “nonsense”. He stated that eating snakes is a basic technique for survival. “Recently, some tourists didn’t eat snakes at all during their trip to mangrove forests in Asia. Only one of them survived somehow, and was rescued by a team of special troops who found the guy limbless,” he defended himself. “My show is a perfect survival guide; it is not offensive or harmful in any kind of way—we always double check to delete my lovemaking scenes with the Grizzly Bear.” On being questioned what he plans to do now, Bear said that he’ll wait for the court hearing. Till then he would shoot for the last episode of Man vs. Wild series in a place called Mordor.
On suggestions that no place called Mordor exists in reality, he called them absurd. “You’ll now say that Voldermort was killed all by himself,” he said. Upon contacting his personal physician, Dr. S. Chanderpaul, we discovered that Bear suffers from a rare disease called “Hccino Frexxes” which affects the mental ability of a person to imagine things.
By Pratul Bagri
PETA sues Man vs Wild host Bear Grylls for endangering snake species
– April 22, 2011Posted in: The News Pages, World
toatally random browda. keep chillin
what the fuck this is stupid. fuck this website and fuck peta
hey, wash you mouth idiot, try to use your head at least one time in your life and care what say and why say it. for people like you this world is rotten. try to learn something in the life. sorry… asshole!!!
who me?
id like to see these peta f*cks survive the wild with little water or edible plants or herbs. sure you may have a fridge to eat your lettuce and cucumber and a juice machine but id like to see them survive with nothing but a poisonous cactus, a snake, beetles, maggots, little or no water, larva, and a rotten zebra. punks wouldnt last. meat is good for you. eat it. protein. enzymes. good for body. man be doing this for thousand year, yes? eat meat. stupid f*cks
By that logic, we should reinstate slavery…because man had been doing it for thousands of years. Slavery is good for the economy.
Anyone who watches his show is the least likely person to ever get stuck in a situation such as the ones on the show. If you own a tv, you are rich enough not to get stuck in the wild. And ALL of the situations on the show are staged, clearly. He has a fucking camera crew.
You’re obviously mentally challenged.
No he is correct. Why don’t you try going out in the wild instead of having everything done for you. Selfish fuck. The show also provides good entertainment and knowledge so stfu.