Tinku started his fast Thursday afternoon after having a grand five-course meal with second helpings of each item. “Tinku baba needs energy for his fast,” said Sakkhubai, Tinku’s maid servant who prepared the massive meal for him. In the first few hours, only a handful of relatives were by his side supporting and motivating him. However, as soon as the press and TV news channels came to cover the story, several friends and well-wishers began pouring in, offering their support for Tinku. “I heard that there were TV people covering some boy’s fast, so I came to support him. Who knows, I may be on the front page tomorrow and a movie director calls me up for a movie,” said Neha, who looked as if she had accidentally tripped into a box of makeup.
The government has lost sleep over Tinku's demands, but Kapil Sibal sees it as an opportunity for more changes in our education system.
“IITs should consider the passion and commitment of students before taking them in. My friend is passionate about vodka and has been committed to 15 girls,” said Akash, Tinku’s friend. Tinku’s parents are proud that their child was taking a stand for what he believes in. “I always felt that my son would amount to nothing, but look at him today, he is doing something that the famous people in our country do. Now even he will be famous. I say every child who wants to achieve something in life should go on a fast until he achieves it,” said his father. “Besides, if Baba Ramdev is doing it, it means that a hunger strike must be beneficial to the body and will cleanse the mind, body and soul,” said the mother, an ardent Ramdev follower. There were some relatives who felt Tinku’s fast won’t hold as much mettle as Baba Ramdev’s because he has no armed followers to threaten the government with.
Tinku seems determined to remain on fast until he is given a seat in IIT Bombay, though we did catch him stealing hungry glances at the delicious samosas his maid had made for us. The government expressed concerns over Tinku’s fast and called for an urgent committee meeting headed by HRD minister Kapil Sibal to look into the matter. On being questioned about the matter, Sibal told us, “We agree that IIT-JEE is no judge to a student’s merit. In fact, seeing the current scenario, we believe that JEE should be scrapped and admissions to IITs should be given only on the basis of fasts. Students will be judged on the length and severity of fasts they impose upon themselves, and on how many people come to support them. Extra credit will be awarded if there is an armed uprising.”
As the government loses sleep over Tinku, Digvijay Singh and P Chidambaram have come out openly to announce that it’s all an RSS conspiracy just like every other problem like Mohammad Ghazni’s invasion, the Kashmir dispute, the 1975 emergency, the Bofors scam, the mishandled Commonwealth Games, the 2G scam, and an issue as impo-(r)-tent as the alleged homosexuality of Rahul Gandhi are all an RSS scam.
Tinku’s friend Rinku said that he will also keep a 10-hour fast from 11pm onwards on June 11, to protest against the government’s neglect of Tinku’s demands, like Anna Hazare and his favourite writer Chetan Bhagat have done for Baba Ramdev. He said his fast will add to Tinku’s fast and then their friend Minku would join and all the fasts would be added up, thus in long term, creating a Fibonacci series of fasts. Apparently Rinku has made it to the IITs this time.
It remains to be seen whether this ‘fast’ decision by the Government appeals to the common man. However, late at night, the director of a well-known JEE coaching institute said, “It doesn’t really matter. We are already in the business of starving students for two years in the name of JEE preparation.”
In continuation to this story, you might like to read another related report published by us on June 10: Fasting—the Modern-Day Brahmastra
awesome……
Thank you Aman
I think you are making mockery of the fast done by Anna Hazare….If you can’t support him then atleast dont make fun.
Hey… !!! come on….. this is not making fun of anyone… but its a piece of good writing that will enlighten today’s people !!! its just a satire !!!
and it is extremely well written….. touching every aspect !!! totally awesome !!!
infact… its ppl like tinku (not real) that r up here making mockery of the system !!!
@harsh thakar- we need such writers today !!!
i do agree with Gaurav….Harsh Thakar should think about his action before doing it….
Lol. Dingdongs. I call to arms all the commenters. Modern warfare 5!
Good stuff!
Fibonacci series. LOL.
Thanx yaar
if Tinku was so determined so why didnt he give his full strength to clear JEE…and if fasting is getting him into IITs then everyone going Kota and preparing rigorously for 2-3yrs should hav a better and easier option to go on fast…!!!…every1 just making fun of our political and educational system…
Chill Aishwarya, its just meant to be fun and satirical.. Why lose sleep over such stuff???
u r right.. i dont feel that he should be given a seat coz that will be a totally biased and unethical decision which may lead to rise of many such cases in future.
hey its obvious that he wont be given a seat…but actually it should nt even be supported by media too….
I mean preparing for iit 2012
Look up the definition of ‘satire’
HUss… he is fat boy on fast! Let him in!
Chill people… Its a fictional satire…
c’mon guys…its totally fiction work…n jz made for fun….nuthin serious…….
adding iit nd anna hazare’s name to everything doesnt mnz its a serius topic…lol:D
Very witty satire!
ROTFL
This boy is a piece of crap…
I he thinks ..he is so meritorious …he doesn’t need a place like IIT.
Meritorious ko IIT ki jaroorat nhi apni dreams ko fulfill karne k liye.
Dude. This is a fictional satire. Tinku doesnt exist
above ( and many others ),
i am goin on a fast now, so as to make you ppl realise this 
( now please , dunt u come back at me for using sms lingo and pointing out my grammar skills, cz tht wud b hilarious ! )
all those taking this wonderful satire to heart ( abhishek, mate , no offence , but u are one o thm) do reflect one aspect of indian education system .. they all did work on their grammar, spellings and all,, but forgot a very important part, expression… !! i mean , cmon man ! cant you guys differentiate a certain form of writing from another ?? the fact that you even tuk this article so seriously , explains your wonderful interpretation skills . no wonder we indians are mocked in other parts of the world !
Couldn’t agree more with you Baba!
yeaa couldn’t agree more !
ppl takin it seriously is evn more funny 
This is all bull-shit.. I agree and appreciate his passion for getting into an IIT, more precisely IIT Bombay, but this is not the correct way dear. IIT is not about passion only, but also about talent and the amount of hard work a student had to do achieve that level. If u actually deserve an IIT u ll surely get into it. I agree JEE is not enough to judge ur caliber to your 100% but that is why there is something called LUCK Buddy.
Hey unknown…this is just fake news dude…just for fun…why r u getting so serious???
y dont u spend the time preparing for iit rather than sit up on a fast……and that too in summer LMAO
ur story makes me laugh
“admissions to IITs should be given only on the basis of fasts.”
This is freaking AWESOME
Thank you
Awesome one. Real quality satire! It already caught the viral bug.
From one Harsh to another. Thanks
Tinku Sucks Big time
Haha… Character made that way
Wat the hell is wrong?….LOL @ —Father supports child saying–Every child must resort to fast in order to achieve something in life!!1….Screw you!!! myself being an IITian would rather munch day and night, and slog my ass all day to get into IIT. Who the hell on earth can sacrifice food!!!!!
hey! it’s a pity that assholes like you get into IITS..YOU can’t even distinguish between FAKE or REAL NEWS! MAN! IT SUCKS TO GET TO KNOW ABOUT THE STANDARDS OF OUR SO CALLED “PRESTIGIOUS INSTITUTE”.
@Yashaswi – Its a fake story
@TJ – chill
harsh…. bro , i offer my sympathies… i can see tht more than half of the junta didnt get your satire ! so well made , yet its glory snatched away by these morons
… the funniest part though , was an IITian , whu just wanted to boast here tht he was one ! even though he didnt realise tht he was making a mincemeat of his college’s reputation by doing so ! 
Well the best of us make mistakes. Lol @ that comment though
@ baba kamdev! what are you fasting for??
@harsh :: great article dude! n really, ppl were actually discussing it seriously! O.o X.x
how did u get into the website’s team btw?
The comments are being moderated, right ? How did TJ’s comment come in here?
I dont know. I’m the writer. Not the moderator
.. read the line– “myself being an IITian would rather munch day and night, and slog my ass all day to get into IIT”– again..
its like he wanna say that “ifff he wouuuuuld be an IITan..”,
..how can u even beleive that an IITan can make such a silly mistake..
You were just not smart enough to get sattire in the above comment
@Yashashwi: Asshole,hw did u manage to crack jee??
u dumbass, cudnt even undrstand dat its a fake news jz 4 fun?
this thing done by Tinku is all a piece of crap. The support he got by his parents adds to the bullshit fast he is doing. u r not able to clear IIT , its fine , everyone cant do it, but this ‘fast’ thing initiated by u is really cheap
Vaibhav this is a satire
may be u should put up some better stuffs ……
I think you should stop explaining that this is satire. Let people believe this is real. It is more fun
If you see all competition they are judged in couple of hours or days. Take an example of sports , you practice whole year and your capabilities are judged on a single day. If there is any drawback in exams pattern then it make sense to fight for it but other than that it is completely nonsense.
well Said bro……….
Well said Saurabh
this is all bullshit……. tinku is in idiot….
He was made that way
last line killer hai!
“It doesn’t really matter. We are already in the business of starving students for two years in the name of JEE preparation.”
Why are half the posters here stupid enough to not notice this is a fake news website. Ever heard of the Onion? For all it’s worth, it’s called ‘News That Matters Not’. Excellent satire, though.
I dont think i’d say these two words in the same sentence. Thanks WTF
tinku….minku…..rinku………..LOL!
Awesome!! Someone try to make a short film on this.. It would rock!!
We’ll need a directer for this
I am Fucking ready…..anytime….to direct…..Though i dont have any experience of direction……but for such a great and needed work….i am ready to do anything….hahahha….:P
…lolzzzz…….AWESOME WORK HARSH…..hatss off…!!!!
Wonderful stuff !
All malhotra’s out there are hurt… Can you actually remove the name malhotra from there? Or else I would assume it’s an RSS conspiracy against malhotra’s and will go on an indefinite fast.
Insider leaks: Its an RSS conspiracy.
This is a fantastic article, needs to be shared, very good representation of ‘Satyagrahi’ approach in solving problems.
Regards,
Rakesh Narang
Thank you Rakesh
Hey! Tinku I’m here in bangalore and would support you silly….
I would a song for you…
pal pal na maane tinku jiya … he tinku jiya
passion ka engine garam hai piya …..
pal pal na maane tinku jiya … he tinku jiya
but mind ka engine “NARAM(dheela)” hai piya
crrection .. ” I would not only sing but would also play it on guitar only for you “
thats what we call an IITian….:D
Would love to hear this song.
this guy is a wannabe… he shud get a life…
“My friend is passionate about vodka and has been committed to 15 girls…”
u just got urself a role model Tinku!!!!
follow his steps…..its gud u stopped eating…now u have more space in ur tummy…fill it by ‘drinking’!!!!
CHEERS!!!
Cheers Himanshu!!!
If this is real, is se bada chutiya nahi dekha maine!!Idiot!! Fucking loser!!
Unfortunately, it isnt real
too gud. here are the lines i found most funny
1. Fibonacci series of fasts
2. admissions to IITs should be given only on the basis of fasts
3. just like every other problem like Mohammad Ghazni’s invasion, the Kashmir dispute, the 1975 emergency, the Bofors scam, the mishandled Commonwealth Games, the 2G scam, and an issue as impo-(r)-tent as the alleged homosexuality of Rahul Gandhi are all an RSS scam
lol
Thanks sks
fibonacci series….rofl.good work
Is this just a satire story or covered story??
Its a satire
This is plain awesome man !!
Only those people who have gone thru the grilling drill of writing JEE can understand this satire.
Others who think its true are no better than Rinku himself
Wow, thanx
Been there, done that
A great piece of inspiration for all IIT-JEE aspirants!
Though I wonder if they will have time in their ‘fast’-paced lives to read this?
Fibonacci Series!
well… tinku i think u should stop fighting for jee and start giving coaching for helping guys in getting gals… 15 ..!!! omg…!!
might be u will end up in having a huge coaching institute in kota too…!!
Looks like Tinku found his first student
Hard to believe there are people here who are taking this news seriously and posting serious comments..
Awesome piece os satire and humor..
last line gadar hai ” We are already in the business of starving students for two years in the name of JEE preparation”
Freaking awesome writing man !!! “Admission based on duration of fast” and “Fibonacci series ” was hilarious
Every JEE aspirant should work on increasing capability for FASTs..such a madness LOL
Dont our coaching institutes make us fast… 14 hours of classes…
ya dude..daily practice..:D
Hey nice post buddy…sensational debut
Thanks buddy
awesome satire…..but most people did not get it……digvijay’s part is the best…
Thanks Kunal
“JEE should be scrapped and admissions to IITs should be given only on the basis of fasts”
Hahaha…
and i think i will fast till am given a life long supply of glenfiddich 18 years. some girls along with it would be nice too
I’m sure you’ll find Rinkus and Minkus to support you. BTW dont miss out the next post.
Hahaha..brilliant one..real quality satire..and what adds to the fun are the comments and that some people actually believe that its true
btw, my friend who published it on his fb wall thought its true..haha..dont worry its not your writing at fault 
Gud 1.. SUPERLIKE…
this is fucking awesum…
mast hai boss:D
nice work…fibonacci wala part bindaas hai aur sibal ka comment bhi
keep it up!!
Thanks iwillcomment
what an asshole….
and listen to his dad “I say every child who wants to achieve something in life should go on a fast until he achieves it”.
JUST MOVE ON
gud one….lol
Thanks Vishal
awesome imagination..lol..
“The gov needs to take a ‘fast’ action….” rofl
and all those taking it seriously..chill people..its j4f..no offence meant!
Thanks Chaitanya
mahn!!!
this tinku sounds more like a cynic case
fasting for a useless cause and his family compares him with public personalities
and great his supporters support him so that they could be famous and make it to bollywood
if life started to be that easy then we wouldn’t have had to worry about anything…everything would be butter smooth
fibonacci series…lol
fasting seems has become a trend
Well said Kriti
This is arbit chuttiyappa… If there actuallyt exists such a tinku.. he must be ***** to death
Nice post.
It also helped me observe a fact that people don’t read the previous comments before posting a new one.
I would also like to know how many of those came back to find out that its was a fiction from your replies ?
I guess a couple
tinku.. dis is madness..
work on ur merits rather dan FORCING dem to take u into IITs..
there r over 4 lac students trying to get into IIT.. nd dey surely r more passionate dan u..
stop dis nonsense nd if u r so committed.. prepare for JEE once again..
BETTER GO ON FAST TO REMOVE THIS KOTA ..FOR SC ST STUDENT’S
haha….
the article was killer but the comments are even more interesting….
nice work keep going……kuch serious bhi likho yaar…..
its a nice perspective to the issue but what options does any individual really has? Anna & Co(Kejriwal) tried out all constitutional ways this was there last resort……
@ Curious: We generally write serious things in a funny way, but if you want seriously serious articles, we have those too – do read
‘An Open Letter to Kapil Sibal’ (http://newsthatmattersnot.com/2010/09/open-letter-to-kapil-sibal-union.html)
or ‘On Poonam Pandey’ (http://newsthatmattersnot.com/2011/03/on-poonam-pandey-and-how-an-idea-can-change-your-life.html)
or ‘The Ladies Seat’ (http://newsthatmattersnot.com/2011/05/the-ladies-seat-we-have-the-reason-to-ask-for-one.html)
Hahaha. Good work with the rhyming names. Guess what? I heard this story in person and then read it here! A good piece I must say!
Why u guys r making fun of me….if u wants to do something come and support me in my fast….i m sitting on d top of fufushima nuclear plant,,,atal bihari just came to support me and commented ,”YE JO IIT KAR RAHI HEI YE KOI ACHI BAAT NAHI HEI”,,,and BARACK OBAMA just landed with his AIR FORCE ONE….& i will surely make into d iit-b and for that i will fast for years,by taking only 10 vodkas,5 pizzas(with grated cheese),10 chicken magrill only…per day
haha !!! nice article…
…gr8 work and will follow ur next articles … but I also liked the part where Neha fallev over a box of makeup …LOL cant b better than this one =D
Just saw on my FB by an IITian friend…I was laughing all the way while reading the article but the part where I lost my control was the serious comments by the ‘common people’ (including the proud IITian !) ..srsly the comments made the article complete
the best part was the alleged homosexuality of rahul gandhi..dude when did that happen…????
i second the view. but i believe it is purely fictional. but, considering the fact that Mr.Gandhi haven’t had a girlfriend for quite a long time…..and is completely quiet on the issue of his marriage, that day is not far enough when many more people will have these doubts!! maybe not homosexual…but news of bisexuality is possible!!
awesome piece of writing!! NICE!! refreshing to see someone have the balls to write on a topic which could have invited unwanted social wrath!! Anyways a fabulously satirical article!
Hey Harsh!!
Very nice piece man!!
@everyone else- take it in the right spirit buddies!!
if der’s any such hypothetical guy..he will get 2 hear 1 thing 4 sure..f*** you!!!
There are two lanes to IIT” Kota Lane ” and the “Fast Lane”
In kota lane you struggle for 2-3 yrs and “fast lane” you struggle for 2-3 weeks or months!
Also slowly we will witness competition in the fast lane as well.
jana hai to isro me jayo iit me esa kuch nahin jo tum chahte ho. yahan akar pachtayoge.(iitian)
u are a coward just becoz u can’t study for 1 more year u r doing all shit
govt. have many problem to deal dont increase their problem
oh gaawwdd!!
how can some people be such dumb that they cant understand that this is a fake news??
Awesome the story piece is!!
guys stop makng fn of hm…….he’s damn srs abt it…….
@harsh:awesome man!!!!!!!!!!!
Too funny Harsh…But it’s funnier to see people believing this article as a real one…. lol
Funny piece of work dude………..still ur objective is crystal clear…n yea all the best for your IIt JEE , i guess u hav a 2nd attempt still left lol..
.. what say ??
how do people who don’t get satire get into IIT(s). Thgey should be thrown out.
Great one, Harsh !!
People who don’t get satire should be thrown out of IIT (s). How did they even get in?
Great one, Harsh !
GOOD
@critics- chill guys…this is for fun but this news also covers some basic problems of our society.
@Harsh Thakkar- mast be..
ROFLMAO
too kewllllll 
if he had fasted for anti reservation it would have been better
he would have gained huge support
bosdk chutiye ho kya…….kyon apne career k liye india ka future barbaad kar rhe ho………
fasting karne se sab kuch milaga … political power, publicity, admission, free lemon juice, job ….
lol….. this is really hillarious…. i think i should do the same to crack the IITs
hahahaha !! its really very funny man.. hilarious! I ROFLed!
bewaqoofon ki kami nahi hai is dooniya mein
saale gadhe
After reading the story and the comments….. one thing came into my mind….. Why is it So Hard for the people to understand that its a satire…. ???
whatever
i am iitian.i work hard to get iit. now why you make joke the iit system.my teachers are like me brilliant. i scores 34 rank in jee genral.tinku is dumb fool.
Love it!!! You know please do an article, a satire on satire. Its unbelievable that people can totally believe evry word and get worked up about it, hilarious some of the feedbacks were. Made me laugh almost as much as the article itself!!