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Uninterested in technical stuff, student corrects teacher’s grammar during viva


Campus News:
In a viva-voce examination for Electrical Technology at Yet Another College of Engineering (YACE), a first-year electrical engineering student has scored zero marks despite appearing to be the most knowledgeable student around. Our campus correspondent reports that the student’s mastery was limited to the English language, but he lacked any idea of the subject in question. Sandeep Lall, the self-proclaimed “boyfriend of literature but husband of engineering”, corrected the examiner in every question he asked, in terms of grammar and pronunciation. He refused to give any answer until the examiner asked the question in correct English.

The examiner, Narayana Karunanidhi deserved zero marks for his language skills, declared Lall after his exam, untroubled by his own zero score. His two classmates, who had the viva with him in the same group, had a great time since they didn’t get to speak much. All the questions were confidently dealt with by Lall, the person who knew the least about Electrical Technology.

Engineering Others' Grammar

“I have grown up reading Dickens, Wordsworth, Austen, Shakespeare, Bacon, Harper Lee, and other such authors. I’m not going to read books by the people they suggest us for studies. The authors of these textbooks are all Indian and sound like Chetan Bhagat. Distaste!” he told our reporter. “I have heard of Milton, but he didn’t give any theorem. When I told the examiner, he insisted he was asking about Millman’s Theorem, not Milton’s Theorem. And then I decided it was not my cup of tea, and I had to counter-attack.”

Sandeep then listed out some of the errors made by the examiner. “He pronounced theorem as tiaram and circuit as cirkoot. Weird accent the man had. Does he even know he is speaking English? And yes, then he asks me “explain how does the induction motor works.” My best friend, standing at the back of Karunanidhi tried to give me a hint by acting the 3 Idiots way, but I decided not to answer until I had taught him that it is “does work” instead of “does works”. How can he rape English in this manner, if he is not a UP policeman, nor is our College Director Mayawati!”

Fellow students say that Lall’s textbooks are filled with marks he has made while correcting and improving the language used by authors. “I don’t want to become an engineer. I want to become a writer. That’s the basic reason I joined an engineering course, though an IIT would have been much better,” he says when asked about his hobbies and ambitions.

At the end of the exam, Lall suggested his examiner some books for improving his English. “Read foreign authors, sir,” he told him. “They put up new innovative questions, which can make students learn more than Indian authors, who ask the same question that their grandfathers used to answer.”


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Tanay Sukumar

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