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Doctor renames small clinic as “private charitable hospital”, becomes very rich

The assets of an MBBS graduate have recently made a remarkable rise in terms of wealth, after he renamed his two-room clinic as a “private charitable hospital”. He did this in order to earn more money from the patients than what they deserved to pay. He says it is easier to demand anything that you want, if you are running a private hospital. This was noticed after the doctor, still in his twenties, bought a fleet of customised Nano cars  to serve as ambulances  for his “hospital”. The clinic-turned-hospital boasts of two full-time doctors and a special emergency ward (which is presently, and shall forever be, under make-shift tents).

Dr Amar Singh’s Get Lost Charitable Hospital (formerly Get Well Family Clinic) seems very pepped-up about launching its name in the medical industry big time. We asked Dr Singh the reason behind renaming his clinic as a “hospital”, and he seemed visibly miffed. He said that the re-nomenclature of his clinic was done to extract more money from the patients who came with simple ailments and to gain maximum profit out of them.

Private hospitals should not behave like costly hotels, said the Supreme Court recently

“Today’s is a world where most doctors and hospitals can demand any amount of money they like. I have done nothing to flout the norms, as these are the new standards,” Dr Singh said candidly. He then raised doubts over the ethics and working ways of the so-called big hospitals, who he said, charge heavenly prices for anything to everything. While big private hospitals aim to make medical facilities available to everyone, he pointed out, “What does it mean to charge 70,000 bucks for a simple dengue fever? And Rs 55,000 for three doses of insulin jabs?”

There is another plan in place. “I watched the recent Harry Potter movie, and saw how there is a spell to multiply anything one touches. We are secretly going to put such a magical system in place. When a patient touches a bed, another bed will come out from nowhere, and the patient will have to pay for that also.”

Thus, with a clear aim to earn money, Dr Singh has started this business, wherein least attention shall be paid to the medicine being given to the patients and the food they are having. “The medicines can be bought from outside on the advice of any doctor (or chemist), and the food should be self-arranged by the patient or his family. If this is not done, the hospital will obviously charge exorbitant rates. We should not be held responsible for the same.”

Singh further said, “Get Lost Charitable Hospital is soon launching an ‘Open Hospital’ concept. Patients will be charged only for the bed they occupy, in case they do not want to get medicines and food from the hospital,” he said. He further added that his hospital was planning short summer internships for medical students who would be taught the fine strokes of making money as quickly as possible, even from patients suffering from mild tiredness and petty diseases like cold and cough, slight fever, etc.

The Health Minister of India expressed support, “Such hospitals help bring money to India. Not for nothing we are famous as a medical tourism country. I have already invited the doctor to join our party and  produce such awesome ideas which can help the government and its policies gain fresh health.”

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Aashish Aryan

Yep. That's about it.

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