#Politics #Politics (UPA Days) Staff Picks

Freedom becomes taxable for every citizen from this I-Day, announces Prime Minister

In his eighth annual two-hour break from silence, the Prime Minister Manmohan Singh, unlike himself, was made to say quite a lot in his Independence Day speech. Most of the speech expectedly didn’t inspire any confidence in the citizens, nor did it reflect any confidence in the PM himself. The one portion of the speech that did make any effect was: “Starting the next financial year, the citizen will have to pay taxes in order to stay free in the country. We have decided to do away with the right to be free in the country. The UPA government is keen to allow citizens to do whatever they please, but it asks for taxes in return,” said Singh in his address to the nation.

Dr. Singh said the tax slabs for every citizen would be different, based on the levels of freedom that they intend to attain. He said one would have to pay huge taxes for being able to post anything about (read against) the government, on Twitter and Facebook . Taxes have also been imposed for expressing opinion on the Government and for being able to sit on indefinite fasts. This decision was welcomed by Anna Hazare who said that he was ready to pay taxes for being able to say something about (again read against) the government. All freedom to do/say anything against the government would be taxable. Freedom Tax will not spare anyone, be it the people below poverty line or those who zoom away in costly cars. Those who don’t do/say anything would have to pay anticipatory taxjust in case they say or do something in future which the government doesn’t want, maybe in private conversations with friends. Dr. Singh said that the collected tax money would be used to establish the Gandhian kingdom and slowly put an end to democracy in India.

Freedom from corruption will demand the highest taxes.

“The country has accepted Mahatma Gandhi as Father of the Nation ages ago. So it’s time the big Indian Family be given the correct format by slowly turning this country into a monarch state,” said the Prime Minister. “Moreover I have been allowed by the You-Know-Whos to continue as the Prime Minister even in the Kingdom.” The government plans to have watchdogs who shall monitor public meetings, Facebook status updates and tweets. Some of them would roam about the streets in aliases to monitor private conversations. The government also plans to have a Facebook account which every citizen of India would have to add as their friend. A Twitter account which would be mandatory to follow is also on the cards, once the government finds some government officer qualified enough to handle these accounts. Rules for the imposing of the Tax would be announced soon.

Websites like NTMN will be treated as individual units, and they will have to pay huge amounts of taxes. If any citizen doesn’t pay the Independence Tax, they will be jailed immediately and forever. Freedom from corruption will demand the highest taxes, and since activist Anna Hazare has expressed his voice against it, he will be sent to prison for evading taxes on the morning of August 16.

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Aashish Aryan

Yep. That's about it.

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Tanay Sukumar

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