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Airlines refuse to carry Team India; Maya’s private jet to carry cricketers with British footwear

Anticipating stone-pelting from the cricket-worshipping Indian people, all the airlines of England have refused to accommodate the Indian cricketers back to India. Some have expressed fear of the safety of their aircraft. After all, the woes of the Indian cricket team in England have been well-documented, with a humiliating Test series whitewash and a raft of injuries to the cream of the crop, but this development has made things worse. However, it turns out now, that the team may be carried back with WikiLeaks’ Julian Assange, by a private jet full of the finest British footwear, to be sent by Mayawati.

The Indian cricket team will be stashed inside a jet aeroplane full of the finest British footwear.

With Uttar Pradesh chief minister Mayawati recently under the cosh from WikiLeaks over allegedly sending her private jet over for collecting a pair of sandals, the BCCI has sensed a ray of hope. The website founder’s reply to Mayawati’s outburst (when he asked her to send over her jet to London to pick him up assuming the British madhouses are full) was observed seriously. In the Annual General Body meeting of BCCI, where the issue was discussed, officials fervently hoped that Mayawati responds to Assange’s call—if not for Assange himself, then for the latest British footwear. A request letter is being prepared to be sent to her, in which she will be requested to accommodate the cricket team along with the footwear. Initial reports suggest Mayawati is willing.

Sunil Gavaskar was the first one to voice out the first thing that came in everyone’s mind upon hearing this—won’t this set a precedent? “This time it is acceptable that the BCCI is going for such measures, but in the future, when our team is spanked again, then? Now, at least the players feared from the people’s backlash at airports, but after this development, with Mayawati’s footwear fetish set to take her across the world, the players are set to get an easy way out after a poor performance.” When Mayawati’s office was contacted with the question whether she will send her jet out to help the team if a similar thing happened to the team in the future. For the response, Mayawati did a press conference and read out a reply as usual, “Of course I will, after all, they are the biggest stars of our country. If we won’t help them, who will?” This reporter is not convinced, with the statement seeming like a rewording of “Do you think Mayawati is foolish enough to let go of official opportunities to send her jet to collect footwear from abroad?”

But the story isn’t finished here. There are rumours abound that other politicians are contemplating outsourcing their fleets of private jets to other Indian sports teams who are genuinely short of money. An unnamed coach said, “We are never given enough money for even the kits and equipment. At least this move will help us save some money. If in return, they can carry out their under-the-table deeds under official pretext, then so be it, we have to care about ourselves only.” Strong statement, but one which epitomises the malaise currently ailing the Indian sporting scene.

Meanwhile, the forgotten party here, the Indian cricket team, is… well… I think it is best they remain forgotten, unless one wants a whole rant of what went wrong. That is fodder for another article, until then, watch this space for more updates.

About the author

Parag Goel


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