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Passenger with both legs in air defies gravity, manages to hold on to crowded DTC bus



(headline suggestion: Tanay Sukumar, illustration: Nipun Chawla)

After the clamour over overcrowding in public buses, one man has now gone out and shown people that a solution does exist. Montek Singh, instead of trying to squeeze his way inside the overcrowded bus, climbed on the back of the bus to travel. With the bus going at its normal speeds of 100–120 km/hr, and rollicking around on Delhi streets, Singh performed jaw-dropping and gravity-defying stunts to maintain his position (and body parts) throughout the journey. In the media-infested world that we live in, such momentous events can hardly go unnoticed. Within a few hours, videos of this event went viral on every popular social networking website. The DTC (Delhi Transport Corporation)’s interest was finally piqued when even Orkut reported minor activity related to this video.

The government of Delhi announced that the 27-year-old is an inspiration. “He sets a precedent and shows faith that population is not a problem as long as people can innovate wisely. Montek, although a man, gives great motivation to women who avoid using the bus in summers because of smelly and ill-mannered gents. No one will misbehave with them if they cling on to the bus from behind,” an official reacted.

But if we have learned one thing over the years, it is that the government agencies will come up with ingenious agencies to cover itself. This time was no different. DTC, in a press statement, said, “This piece of news has provided us with a novel opportunity to save the taxpayers’ money which we were planning to use on ordering new buses, and instead provide the government with more money. We have decided to announce a new class of tickets, for passengers boarding the bus on its posterior. The tickets will be regularly-priced, but there will be a special clause attached to the ticket. Since an average bus contains about 200 passengers, it will provide a good number of people to vote on whether the person provided good entertainment value. If the verdict is positive, the person will be refunded his ticket money. We feel it is a win-win situation for all of us.”

The most common response was, what about the passengers inside the bus? One disgruntled passenger said, “We should also be given an equal chance to get our tickets refunded. It is not our mistake that we cannot even move a finger in the bus. Who knows, we could also entertain! This is sheer discrimination, we also want free tickets!” When a DTC representative was contacted regarding this demand, he was dumbfounded. He said, “This is outrageous! People don’t know? We have always had a free-ticket scheme for the regular passengers. Every day, we find out the bus with the maximum count of passengers that day. That bus has all its passengers’ ticket price refunded, plus a bonus for the driver and conductor. Why else do you think that the buses are impossibly cramped? Was it because the DTC is money-hungry? No sir, you got that absolutely wrong!”

Even though repeated RTI requests for revealing the ‘winning’ bus for each day have been turned down, citing the privacy of the ticket holders, this reporter feels that the rides in the buses are going to be much more exciting and crowded than ever before.


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Parag Goel

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