Stung by the secularists and spurned by his own party, Modi today announced his decision to join Congress. “I am a Con(gressi) and I am not a communalist,” is what he said after meeting the Goddess of Secularism, Sacrifice and the Singh, Sonia Gandhi. His new look of wearing the skull cap, the holy cross and red teeka has found instant takers among the Muslims, Christians and middle-class Hindus who are going gaga over his change of heart.
“Today is a great day. Insha’Allah, we will change the heart of every kafir with our goodwill,” said the separatist leader Ahmed Shah Geelani, who was in Delhi for his monthly dialysis.Modi addressed a press conference outside the most famous shrine of secularism: 10, Janpath. When Chatur Chintu asked him why he chose only Congress, he said, “When it comes to secularism, Congress is Teflon. No charge of communalism or rioting sticks to them. Be it the 1984 anti-Sikh riots, the Bhagalpur riots, the Babri demolition under Narsimha’s regime, dozens of tiny disturbances in Mau, Merrut or the ethnic cleansing of Kashmiri Pandits from the Valley, the Congress comes clean every time. Their unshaken faith in the Gandhi family, who, by virtue of their surname are the most secular human beings, keeps the Congressmen from turning communalists. As a BJP member, I have been run down for the last 9 years as a fascist, while the Congress leaders accused of participating in Gujarat riots still enjoy secular credentials. By joining the only party authorised to declare people secular, I have earned visa rights to USA.”
Meanwhile, the Congress party is overwhelmed at having snatched the last leader BJP had. Manish Tewari declared that Modi is drenched in secularism from head to toe. Kapil Sibal has promised to come up with a zero-loss theory that will prove that not a single life was lost during Gujarat riots. Rahul Gandhi told reporters to ask WikiLeaks about his opinion. Digvijay Singh claimed that it was a plot of RSS and the Nazis. Prime Minister Manmohan Singh said he had no knowledge about any such development. Sonia Gandhi just smiled and flashed the victory sign. 🙂