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New start-up by IIT alumnus to help couples get the most awesome IITian sperms


A Chennai couple’s weird wish of getting an IITian sperm donor has inspired an IIT alumnus to conceptualise a path-breaking business plan. After the report by our biggest competitor, TOI (the Chennai couple probably want an IITian’s sperm to conceive a baby with high IQ like theirs), 23-year-old Sperman Baweja has announced a business idea that has stunned everyone. “The Awesome Sperms Pvt. Ltd.” promises total happiness and satisfaction to couples in need of sperms from talented males. “Because Awesome Sperms Don’t Come By Chance!” the company’s tagline notoriously says. Baweja is an IIT-Delhi graduate.

An NTMN reporter accompanied Baweja to an infertility-care hospital today, where he came to spread his idea and to get customers. We talked to a few couples seeking artificial insemination. One of them revealed, “While seeking someone’s sperm, couples do worry about the family-background, character and educational qualifications of the donor. They want the best genes for the child. Coming weekend, even our ad will be out in the papers, seeking IITians with a CGPA of 8 and above to donate a sperm for as much as 1 lakh rupees, which is further negotiable according to the individual’s professional résumé. Money is not an issue for us here. We will assume we paid the entire amount in our child’s coaching for JEE.”

“Are you ready to accept donors from other top-notch engineering colleges too? Like DTU, NITs and the like?” we asked the couple. To which they said clearly, “No way, only the best for our child!”

The trend has invited widely mixed response. While business experts have lauded Baweja for the unique entrepreneurial idea, IIT coaching centres are not very happy. LOOT-JEE founder D.K. Bose is a disappointed man. He believes that if children are born to become IITians, who will come to the coaching centres like his! “This is just not done! It has taken us several years to settle this business, how can they kick out our only source of income so easily?” he said. “We were also entrepreneurs once, but we didn’t do any such unethical thing. In fact we changed the face of mankind by training even not-so-intelligent students to make the crack, with our special tips and tricks for fruitful rote-learning. This commercialisation of education that we have accomplished is, thus, the wisest thing to have happened in a long time. And this is what we get in return!”

So, which among them will give the next IITian?

Newspapers have been flooded with requests for similar advertisements. Specifications vary from “Donor should be from one of the old IITs only” to “Donor should, apart from being an IITian, be able to respect girls too”. A couple with both husband and wife being professors of English, specified, “Donor should be an IITian but not Chetan Bhagat”. Sperman Baweja, the man behind “Awesome Sperms” tells us some of the requests that he has received also specify the JEE rank-range that the donor should belong to, while others are a bit more relaxed, allowing alumni from IT-BHU and ISM Dhanbad as well.

IIT students, meanwhile, are in a confused state. While some are amused, some others are not. Still others are too shocked to say anything. “I can try it as an alternative source of pocket-money. DU girls these days anyway like to make us poor guys spend a lot, so it will be of much help,” an IIT-Delhi student tells us. Rajiv of IIT-Rajasthan says, “I just hope that we get our righteous recognition here at least. Despite qualifying JEE with high ranks we, in the new IITs, have been suffering a severe lack of fame and name. I hope this will not add to our woes and prove to the world that hum bhi apne sperm se bohot bohot chamatkaar kar sakte hain!!”

Some IITians are, however, against the idea. Their reason is best explained by the argument put by an IIT Bombay alumnus, Tarun: “Most of us have to struggle for the entire period of our engineering life to get ONE girlfriend. But no one pays heed to us, because they want the swankier studs of other not-so-reputed colleges. Why should we let others make use of our brains then? Instead of selling sperms for money, I say the IITians should ask for a girlfriend in exchange! I bet no couple would be able to afford it then!” Tarun’s friend Varun, however, says very casually, “I seriously don’t care man. But I just hope this sends out a message to all the pricey girls out there that we have what no one else does. Besides, we the ‘non-maggus’ stand a chance to outshine the maggus for the first time in life here. Hehe…”

While Sperman Baweja thanks the Chennai couple for his million-dollar idea, NTMN hopes that the trend makes way for students of other colleges too. Here are our suggestions:-

1. NIFT — for girly girl-babies and, err, girly boy-babies.

2. IIPM — for a child who will be able to think beyond the IIMs when he is not able to get admission into one.

3. SRCC — for future Sachin Tendulkars who will freaking GET THAT HUNDRED!


About the author

Sugandha

23 Comments

  • This will further reduce India’s chances of managing atleast one medal at the Olympics. Leave apart winning cricket matches in Australia. Mr Baweja should think of scaling up his idea. He should try to find ways of procuring Australian or American sperms so that we can atleast compete with them in a respectful manner which currently is a distant dream.

    • Hi Rituraj. Thanks for dropping by. I just want to make sure that you know that is isn’t a real story, but a satirical take at the original news which has many bewildered.
      Hope you enjoyed the article. 🙂

  • Although a funny post, but the author herself thought it wrong to hype the IITians and I am afraid she is doing just that.

    Being an IITian, I feel embarassed, we just don’t deserve your attention. We are regular people.

    • @Rohan Bhatore: I wish you realize that this ‘funny post’ doesn’t hype the IITians, it hypes the hype around them. It doesn’t wish to offend or embarrass the IITians, it wishes to offend and/or embarrass that part of our society that still measures IQ with the IIT tag, that is bound within chains of such stereotypes which develop into pressure for the coming generations. In this attempt of mine to bring all this out satirically, the “hype” around the IITians is inevitable.
      So please do NOT be embarrassed, ‘coz you don’t have a reason to be. It is all in good fun and/or in good satire, isn’t it?

      The only people I expected to be complaining about this article were NIFTians. I think the message is very clear. No one gets a single reason to embarrass or laugh at the IITians because of this article. If so, my own team members wouldn’t spare me! 🙂

  • Too good, just too good. Wish I could write like this. And that is why I have applied for your Internship.

    • Thanks so much Annanya. That’s heartening to know. I hope the little we know is able to help you in some way soon. 🙂

  • Good Show!! Keep it up. 🙂

    I hope someday i will find some article related to other streams viz. Commerce etc.

    if you guys work on these other streams then you can find yourselves growing a lot more faster.

    Warm Regards.

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