Offbeat

[Sunday Magazine] What if we had a matriarchal society?


Imagine there’s no heaven. Imagine there’s no country. And the world will live as one. ~ John Lennon

We, today, live in a patriarchal society, and clearly, it is not working. It’s worth pondering what were to happen if we lived in a matriarchal society instead. First, what is a matriarchal society? It’s a society where the females are the dominant sex, mainly because of their overwhelming population, enjoying the support of the leaders. So, what would happen?

  1. Women will take control of politics: Sonia Gandhi will become PM with no opposition, and will be seen at every important event accompanied by personal secretary, Dr. Manmohan Singh. Rabri Devi will be the leader of RJD, while Lalu will be relegated to mowing the lawns and milking the cows. Mayawati will, well, continue to erect statues.
  2. Parents would fear having boys for kids: “Another boy? Such a shame, Sharma Ji! How would you manage the dowry for three boys in this modern world, with such measly income?” Such statements will become prevalent in day-to-day life, as will the ‘male infanticide’.
  3. Men cook dinner, women go to office: “Kids, dinner is ready. Come down now, your mom’s home.” or “Don’t forget to take your lunch to work, sweety pie.” These will be the common voices inside the house. Men will go for grocery shopping, take care of the cleaning business of the house, while women would pit their brains on the share market, or find solutions to global recession.
  4. Girls checking out boys instead of the other way around: Now, that would be something, wouldn’t it? Buoyed by their dominance and influence in the society, women will be the one doing the stalking. The ‘checking out’ may be of a different kind though. “Look that guy has no fashion sense, look at those boots, total disaster!”, “Eww, does he not have a shower at home?” For this fear of being insulted, men would say to their wives, “Nahi jaanu, raat ho gayi hai, aaloo-pyaaz tum hi le aao, please.” 
  5. The rape convicts will, for a change, be dealt with very severely: Because of the physical advantage men would still have and also the desires they possess, there may still be rape cases, although significantly reduced (by up to 80-90% perhaps). The lawyers will try to defend their clients against unmoving female judges, who shall ensure the harshest punishments for the offenders.
  6. The story of love will be forever twisted: Women will spend their time trying to woo men, and men will keep on searching for that elusive soul-mate, who will complete them. Millions of songs and poems will be written everyday for the male community. On Valentine’s Day, women will be locked up in jails for hitting on the passing-by single men.
  7. Reservation, empowerment and upliftment: Men activists will rise to the occasion and set up ‘Men Rights Associations’, arguing for the place of men in the society, while the leaders will incorporate thirty percent reservation for men in technical institutes.

Men surely had the better deal in this current version, which is why they don’t object to the conditions. Which is why, News That Matters Not has conceived this scenario, to put you into the shoes of the female community and implore you to think. “Would that be a fair deal? No, of course not. Then, why should this be?”


About the author

Kumar Pratik

Exorcist, Demonologist, and Master of the Dark Arts. Just kidding. Part of NTMN since May 2011 and Editor-in-Chief from 2013 to 2014.

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