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A Coaching Institute for Pregnant Women to Help Their Kids Grow Up to be IITians

It is statistically impossible, says research, for any student in India to not have a single friend studying for IIT. Are you one of the lucky few who don’t? Surprising. A huge number of students are pushed and dragged into these coaching centres each year by their parents. As soon as a child steps into secondary school, the parents, afraid of lagging behind, start knocking on the doors of various tutorials for foundation IIT courses.

Seeing the government’s move introducing a new common entrance test, parents have taken a firm stance against it. Fortunately, there seems to be some relief for them. Voila, CheatJEE! To make sure that the quality of students getting into the IITs is not diluted, CheatJEE has come up with a new idea for foundation courses—the InextgenIT. The last thing we had expected we would come across, it is a training course for pregnant mothers, so that the students have a strong foundation laid right from the foetus stage. Wise, it sounds!

It is believed that the way the mother treats her baby and herself during the time of pregnancy plays a very important role in shaping up the brain of the baby. So, the main target of this program will be expectant mothers. Only selected mothers who exhibit potential will be given a chance to avail this opportunity. They will be judged on the basis of their eagerness to see their children in IITs. As for now, this is the only criterion that shall help in deciding the deserving candidates. But CheatJEE has hired a few researchers led by Dr. ChatterJee to develop a method to carry out an IQ test of the baby before birth. And we have got to hear that they are already midway through. After the breakthrough, the IQ of the foetus will also count along with the mother’s passion to get an entry into this program.

During this program, the expectant mothers of future IITians will be looked after with intense care. Special care will be taken till the baby is delivered. It includes setting up of special maternity care units for the mothers. Every waking (and sleeping) moment of the mothers, including the posture in which they sleep, will be supervised and corrected where necessary.

They will be subjected to specially formulated dietary regimes and exclusive physical training by trained staff. Lara Dutta has agreed to share her experience and knowledge for the program. A few exceptionally sincere mothers will be given a free copy of Lara’s Video CD.

A sure-shot method of getting your child into IIT

To make the program more effective, mothers of successful IITians will be hired, so that they can educate the new mothers about all the special etiquettes required from a successful mother. Research has also shown a good response from the mind of the baby when the mother is allowed to sleep with an IIT preparatory book either under her pillow or on her belly. CheatJEE has planned to consider this option too, after confirming their viability further, before letting the mothers handle such huge and heavy books.

It is also advised that instead of the ‘unnecessary’ and ‘pointless’ singing or talking to the baby, Physics or Math formulae and valencies of elements be read out. Apparently, the baby in the womb responds very well to Straight Lines.

Not to leave any stone unturned in shaping the brain of the baby in an IITian way, special electromagnetic sensors shall be used to help increase the IQ of the baby. Subjecting the mother to such waves for at least 15 minutes on a daily basis is believed to bring good results.

Throughout the pregnancy period the mother will be attending special IIT coaching classes which shall automatically have an impact on the baby.

During the time of delivery, doctors will be accompanied by neonatal faculties to guide the right way of bringing the baby out. They aim to make sure that the newborn baby is under proper guidance and groomed in the correct way right from the beginning without wasting a precious second. Yoga and pranayam classes will be organized for toddlers and growing babies to boost their mental strength, memorizing ability and thinking power.

Don't be surprised if your children are so smart that they skip ahead a few grades.

No time shall be wasted in telling toddlers about Mary and her little lamb; their learning process will start with “How to fill up OMR sheets”. They will also be taught to estimate the right kind of pattern to draw in the OMR sheet in case they do not know the correct answers to the questions. As the students grow up, they will be subsequently promoted to the regular coaching classes. These trained students will have a separate batch to prioritize and distinguish them from the regular ones.

When everything is going the IIT way, what about the fee structure? The fee structure for each student will be based on the data deduced from a medical test of the mother and the financial background of the family. When they are promoted to the regular classes on growing up, students who were admitted right from the time they were conceived will be given concession. To keep the success rate high, students faring well in the tests consistently will be given scholarships, whereas students with poor performances will have to pay higher fees. CheatJEE has set up a deal with Anand Kumar, who has agreed to coach mothers who exhibit exceptional potential yet belong to a financially weak background.

A current special offer allows parents opting for test tube babies to opt for IIT babies. These babies will come with a 100% guarantee if allowed to undergo the aforesaid program. Students have always experienced the pressure of competitive exams. This program is a new way to let the parents participate in today’s mad rat race. All we can say is “Today’s world!” And you thought quality was depreciating!

This article is by Arunima Rath, and has been edited by Priyanka Mehta. Both Arunima and Priyanka are interning with NTMN in our 2012 Internship-cum-Training Program.

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Arunima Rath


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