According to his mother, Joseph always used to say, “IIT is the only thing in the world, if I don’t pass, the Sun will stop shining.” A good footballer during the early days of his life, Joseph was an all-rounder till junior school days. But the voluminous IIT-JEE syllabus and the fierce competition ensured that Joseph dedicated an average of 14 to 18 hours per day to realize his dream. He hardly indulged in anything non-academic. He was ecstatic after he bagged himself a seat at his dream university. Joseph’s family is devastated and is yet to recover from the loss of their precious son. After all he had proved himself by making it to the IIT.
Anuj, Joseph’s classmate and a close friend, spoke to NTMN, “I will never forget the day my friend took his life. It was a Thursday and we ordered the 555 deal from Domino’s. We all got different toppings and you wouldn’t believe how much it hit the spot.” Getting back to the point, Anuj continued, “Joseph had stopped interacting with his friends and hostel mates for the past month. He had become a recluse and even refused to take food at times. But, he had an excellent academic record. There is no possibility of stress due to studies.”
Our correspondent was able to get hold of the suicide note, which ran thus:
I have been suffering for long without complaints, but no more. I sacrifice my life for the welfare of my entire engineering brethren. Have patience and hold your breath my dear friends, for what I tell you will not be very pleasant to endure.
The other day, I unwillingly went for my 8 o’ clock AC Machines lecture on the synchronous motor. Eight of us were selected to demonstrate the working principle of the motor. The moment I heard Neha’s name, my heart skipped a beat. I began to imagine both of us in a magnetically locked condition, I as the stator North Pole and Neha as the rotor south pole. It was perfect. We were revolving in the synchronous speed, when an external disturbance broke the locking. My professor asked me to become the three-phase supply. Fighting back tears, I stood there helplessly supplying the synchronous speed while watching that pervert Babloo, rotating merrily with Neha. I had spent weeks and weeks of practice sessions in front of the mirror, rehearsing “the lines” with my closest girlfriend, and then…. Kaboom!!!! End of story.
Later, on my way back to the hostel I could see familiar faces smirk at me. I rushed to my room only to discover that my not-so-friendly roommate had discovered about my Tuesday bed wetting ritual. He had already propagated the “NEWS” in the entire boys’ hostel. It was really stupid of me for not being careful enough to wash my bed sheet before going to the classes. That same night somebody left a packet of Mamy Poko Pants for me. If you think babies are cute, think again. That wretched little thing looked into my eyes as if to say, “I can’t even walk yet. What’s your excuse?” Trust me, if I had powers, I’d kill all babies in the land.
After few months of emotional atyachaar I did finally get over Neha. My friendship with Neha’s best friend, Pooja was growing and I had started believing that I could after all fall in love again. Alas, on our very first date, Pooja, a die-hard How I Met Your Mother fan dumped me because of the “LEGENDARY” Barney Stinson. Too shocked to speak, she said, “How could you come for a date UN-SUITED?” My luck is bad, even with ladies.
I’ll give you another example. I lost my last recharge card (bought out of borrowed money) somewhere in the pile of the packets of Maggi, unwashed T- shirts, loose assignment sheets and empty Kurkure packets on my table. How is that fair, I ask you.
To uphold the “pride” of my batch, I was made to stick posters and copy lists by my seniors even when I wanted to watch “F.R.I.E.N.D.S” (for the 8th time) because I couldn’t remember Joey’s dialogues.
Alright, so see how unfair the system is. The first time I visited the Bittu Paanwaala for a smoke (which my friends visit every day; by the way), I was dragged to the Dean’s office. It’s not like I pickpocketed the Chancellor to fund my cigarette.
I was prepared for a tough college life. I thought that the most difficult part of first year in an engineering college would be staying away from home or coping up with the competitive environment as has been propagated by Mr. Sibal himself, ever since he joined politics. But you Mr. Sibal, must understand that I am not blaming you for anything; for you, sir, are an Honourable man. All I am saying is that college life is more about the lack of datable girls, the ragging, the mockery, the injustice of the system. I can take it no more.
All I want now is an 80’s themed funeral, with the song Take Me Home Tonight by Eddie Money blasted as my casket is rolled out of the church. I can’t wait! All you folks better be there.
Good Bye and Good Luck.
Joseph’s suicide note has caused flutters throughout the student community and has been rated as the most popular suicide by the very sensitive media (out of the 10 suicides which had taken place in these premier institutes within the last five years). When approached, Mr. Sibal commented, “The students should be made ethically and mentally strong so that they can overcome all type of stresses. Hence the Institution should not be blamed.” The college authorities are pressurized at the moment by the alarming increase in the suicide rates. A secret meeting was organised immediately in the light of the recent incident where, all the IITs have decided to introduce a reservation quota for the girls for obvious reasons.
They say behind every successful man is a woman. If the acute shortage of the female species is eliminated, we have reasons to hope Joseph and his peers will be happier men.
(ed. Satat Mishra)
Disclaimer: This article is not intended to be insensitive towards suicide victims. We ask why our students are so demotivated that they commit suicide for petty reasons? Is it poor parenting, peer pressure, society, the race for modernity, or education system? Are you a student like Joseph who is contemplating suicide? Have you thought how grave is your reason? Is education the beginning… or the end?