In a joint statement with the Congress president Sonia Gandhi, released early this morning, the Chief-of-Staff of the visiting delegation from Whatyoudoing clearly laid down the purpose of their visit: “Earthmen of India, we come in peace. Whatyoudoing is pleased to have sent its envoy to this land of brilliant and lovely people. This is also our first envoy to a planet outside our star system, and we are happy to have arrived safe and sound… eh… and in good hands. The primary motive of this visit, is, among other things, to learn about the fine art of politics and implement the same to the betterment of our people back home.” He further said, “We are undergoing an unprecedented era of peace and prosperity, which has put everyone in deep distress. Our High Governors, in all their infinite wisdom, had never imagined such a calamitous situation on our planet. Here we come, in hope that we can gain some valuable insights into how to actually run a country.”
The news has been hailed by all-and-sundry as a huge boost to the international image of India as a nation, while the Congress Party was seen celebrating their sudden jump of status from National to Universal. A party spokesman, taking twenty seconds off from the celebrations said, “Take that, Modi!” and cartwheeled off somewhere else. However, the mood in the BJP camp was upbeat, and party leaders have promised full and unflinching support to the cause of the citizens of Whatyoudoing. An ordinary citizen related to the Congress top-brass by way of marriage said, “Well, obviously these guys are extremely intelligent! Their choice is indicative of it!”
While that goes without saying, ISRO scientists have variously pinged their counterparts in NASA saying, “So much for Mars… ha ha!” The White House is heard to have issued a strong statement clearly stressing on the importance of Indo–USA ties as the way forward.
There is also considerable excitement among the media, who are lining up to cash in on the break from a staple diet of cricket, scams and cricket scams. India TV people were conspicuous by their absence. Last heard, they have been patting each other on the back and telling whosoever cares to listen. “We told you so!” and then bursting into peals of hysterical laughter. Meanwhile, the government is selling exclusive tickets worth Rs. 500 each for a tour inside the visiting space-craft.