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Student invents time machine, uses it to go back in time to ensure his professors are never born

You read it right. Samay Bhraman, a student of the infamous Yet Another College of Engineering (YACE), has managed to not only invent a time machine capable of traversing through time, but has also put in motion his malicious plan to not let any of his current professors ever get born in the past. A discovery that was supposed to be a beacon of hope to billions of Indians who would have used it to go back and thwart the Britishers before they ever invaded the country, has now become a harbinger of shame for the entire nation.

NTMN has come up with this sensational revelation, after it came across a documentary tape buried in its archives, apparently put there by Bhraman in the past. “I am going to ensure not one of them is ever born,” he claims in the tape, referring to his professors at YACE. He steps into a time portal in front of him and after some distorted images, ends up in the sixties, where he then embarks on a tiresome journey to “kill” his professors before their birth, by interfering with the lives of their parents. (Read: Butterfly Effect)

Scientists around the country have been baffled by the development, though Parmanu Tatva, Samay’s best friend has some better insights to share. He says, “Samay would spend hours watching videos of particle accelerators, motivating the protons by shouting ‘You can do it’, ‘Don’t give up now’ every two minutes, convinced that crossing the speed of light was the key.” When asked as to what his motivation was, Tatva explained, “The teachers of course! There’s only so much a man can take. After three years of scribbling practical files, assignments, projects and making presentations among other crap, Samay got absolutely berserk one day. He became obsessed with finding a solution, and then he knew the only way was to end it before it ever began. So, he devised this colossally wicked plan.”

As for the matter of where Bhraman currently is, no one knows. He could be at any place and at “any time” right now. Yet, his efforts have not gone in vain, as professors and teachers around the country are now living in the fear of being “erased from time”. This has resulted in a one eighty degree turn in their attitude. They are being “tolerant and easy-going” nowadays, instead of the usual “being-a-royal-pain-in-the-ass”.

People around the country have condemned the boy’s action as most of them felt that the time machine could have been used for better purposes. Congress party’s spokesperson said on the matter, “The sole aim of our party is to rule the country till eternity. We could have achieved this with the help of this time machine thing, going back every time we lost an election, again and again and again.” Some Indians also believe that “inter-timeline smuggling” is a “very viable dhandha”. Meanwhile, Arvind Kejriwal has alleged corruption charges on many idols from the past including Mahatma Gandhi, Jawaharlal Nehru, etc, asking the Government to probe into his findings. The Government, needless to say is turning a blind eye to his claims.

About the author

Kumar Pratik

Exorcist, Demonologist, and Master of the Dark Arts. Just kidding. Part of NTMN since May 2011 and Editor-in-Chief from 2013 to 2014.

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