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Opposition slams government for not doing anything to save country from Doomsday


In a fresh blow for the government, the Opposition has alleged that the UPA lacks the “will power” to save the country from Doomsday, and that India’s intelligence has been doing little to counter it. Speaking to a news channel, a BJP spokesperson slammed the government for not having enough dinners with Maya to convince her to roll back her calendar. Meanwhile, the government has responded back, calling Doomsday a BJP conspiracy to terrorize people before polls. The Doomsday is expected to strike on 21st December in the whole of India except 10 Janpath.

The matter saw a huge uproar in both Houses of the Parliament today, and sessions were adjourned early. Sachin Tendulkar, Rajya Sabha MP (known as God), said he is helpless in this situation. He said his trusted weapon has lost its divine abilities as Doomsday has come closer. He also said, “I have requested Maya to be merciful; I assured her I’ll personally finance and oversee the construction of another 100 statues paying homage to her.” Calling Sachin a Congress agent, BJP’s Sushma Swaraj alleged that Sachin’s helplessness shows the Congress doesn’t care. She has requested the formation of an SIT to get to the bottom of this mess.

2012The Opposition also demanded that the Prime Minister should resign. “He should apologize for his government’s inefficiency in taking measures to prevent the destruction. Who knows, that resignation might itself save the country from Doomsday!” said Arun Jaitley. “It is time that the PM addresses the nation and explains why he is working towards saving the government, but not the citizens, from Maya’s wrath.” Manmohan Singh is reportedly more scared of Sonia than Doomsday. He still won’t talk. In response, the PMO said, “Manmohan Singh speeches don’t grow on trees.” Home Minister Sushil Kumar Shinde, however, said, that the Prime Minister and Sonia Gandhi have not even been told about the danger of the Doomsday.

Sources say that the government has requested Pakistan to request China on their behalf to give the Congress leaders a cave to stay in after the Apocalypse, as in the movie 2012. Gujarat Chief Minister Narendra Modi has offered to visit nineteen different cities all over Africa “in the only day that remains”, promising all Mota Bhais of a safe haven. Sources reported sighting Rahul Gandhi in Kenya already.

“Maybe Mr. Advani is still hoping that our government will fall, mid-term elections will be held, with BJP victorious — all in the next two days, so that he gets to be the Prime Minister at least for some time before the apocalypse!” Kapil Sibal said using his usual clever oratory. However, Rahul Gandhi messed up the government’s defence while delivering a speech in a rally. He uttered, “Who invented Doomsday? Congress did!” when his speech writer shushed him pointing out that he was invoking the standard line in the wrong context.


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Ankit Rana

An engineering student. I love playing with visulas. Prankster.
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Bijender Sheoran

I am a 23 years old Mechanical Engineer from IIT Kanpur, currently working in Noida. I like to try my hand at a diverse range of things and my interest keeps changing from time to time. I have been a part of IITK's cultural festival (Antaragni) and technical festival (Techkriti) while in college. A big movie buff and loves watching TV serials, Lost and Hustle are my favorite, reads anything and everything and getting addicted to Facebook and twitter.

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Rishi

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