Fortunately, Asaram Bapu’s pre-Holi speech captivated him. He was so enticed that he couldn’t help himself from coming all the way down from Sonia Gandhi’s guest house to Maharashtra, so that he could take tuition classes from the godman.
He travelled all the way by road to reach Maharashtra. After a very hard struggle, he finally got to see his would-be mentor Shri Asaram Bapu. Greeted with a pranaam, Asaram told him to get an appointment from the reception desk to meet him.
Manmohan Singh reached the reception and fulfilled all the formalities, but still couldn’t get an appointment. After hours of rush, finally, some under-the-table (he had quite an experience at the receiving end) stuff was the only helpful thing that grabbed him a filthy appointment with Asaram.
Meeting Asaram Bapu, Manmohan Singh asked him the secret behind delivering such influential speeches that can make one even above God. To this, Asaram replied, “I withhold the power that can mould the earth, the wind and what-else, I can make clouds shed their water anywhere I want them to. So what problem will I possess in delivering a mere speech?” Pushed in a lurch with this, Manmohan Singh started doubting his own political power outreaches. Amazed by the idea, he asked Asaram if he could provide him tuitions on delivering an influential speech. After contemplating on pros and cons, Asaram accepted his request but in lieu of 50% amount that he grabbed till now, for keeping mum as told by Gandhi clan. As always, Manmohan Singh had to call Sonia Gandhi to take permission of doing so. Fortunately she agreed!
But taking such a decision turned out to be very expensive for Manmohan Singh. He already had to apply for a loan in World Bank, to pay the taxi fare to Mumbai, (though this has inspired him to think of lowering the fuel prices).
Finally Manmohan Singh has been enrolled in ‘Asaram Classes: Make your dream a success’. The course duration is 3 months. In the orientation program Asaram motivated him by these words, “Just have faith in your ability to fool the citizens, trust your instinct that can make them believe any nonsense out of your mouth. That spark of confidence should be visible in your eyes. You my friend lack this, work hard on it.”
Asaram has also provided him a brand new study material, which includes How to Deliver an Influential Speech by Digvijay Singh and a D.V.D. of The Kings Speech and many other personality development notes. He also suggested him to regularly attend his ‘satsangs’.
Now, Asaram is calling himself God of Gods. These were his last quoted words in a press conference:
“Yanna Rascalla! Beware everyone! My powers are so overwhelming that I can even make Prime Minister to attend my Shivirs, mind it!”
(edited by Punita Maheshwari. Rohit and Punita are currently interning in our Youth Internship-cum-Training Program.)