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Apple fan boy lynched for trying to convert Android user to iOS


In yet another case of communal disharmony, an Apple fan boy was lynched by an angry mob for trying to commit conversions.

Rajiv Shukla, an IT professional who has been practicing “Appleism” since his first Macintosh, really hit a nerve when trying to explain an Android user how he can never get viruses in iOS.

Outraged public near the boy took out their pitchforks and started pelting the Apple fanboy with Nokia 1100’s.
Unfortunately, this incident is not the first case of operating system conversions. While many have blamed Apple users for trying to force their technology on everyone, there have been reports of Android users trying to ensnare other OS users with different themes and ROMs

This fighting has divided our nation along technology lines

This fighting has divided our nation along technology lines

Few bad apples spoiling the name of OS

Fortunately the lynching was unsuccessful. After revival, the Apple fan boy maintained that he was innocent, “There was nothing wrong in what I was doing!

Let’s refrain from using heavy words such as “conversion”. It was a mere “Ghar wapsi” because let’s face it, Android is nothing but a rip-off of the original iPhone and iOS. So, as it stands, there’s nothing wrong if these stupid Android users accept the fact and stop using their downmarket Apple knockoffs.”

Jaya Sharma, an ardent Apple follower shared her unbiased opinions with us. “Apple is the best. Period.”

“Apple is just so cool. I love Steve Jobs. I am so fortunate that my father can afford to buy it for me.”

“Apple products give me the rare opportunity to look down on others and laugh at their ‘middle-classness’,” she added.

While it is safe to say that there are always a few bad apples in whichever operating system you follow, some people will always purport their personal biases in the name of the OS.

NGOs just a front for proselytization?

A debate that has been raging recently is that many NGOs are just a cover to convert people. Conspiracy theorists have claimed this to be the reason behind the recent mass cancellations of Foreign Contribution Regulation Act certificates of the NGOs by the government.

“Look, it is as plain as day light, NGOs get foreign funds and they use it to convert our operating systems. They hold seminars and visit houses and try and persuade people how apple is their lord and saviour,” said Amit Kumar, a minority OS user. (Windows.)

“I want them to leave me and my OS alone. I know it is bad but at least I am not swinging it around in others people faces. It gives me inner peace and gets the job done, and that is the only thing that matters to me.”

“I don’t care about the 72 emoji’s I’ll get if I switch to Android. I don’t believe in that shit and the people who do are just delusional!” added Amit.

Meanwhile, many Android users continue to maintain their stand that Apple fanboys are iDIOTS and Windows users don’t even deserve to exist.

“Listening to these Apple fanboys brag and preach is more annoying than listening to Subramanian Swamy or even Rakhi Sawant.
That’s why I make sure that I always keep my Nokia 1100 at hand. Let them come I say !!” said an Android user who has never tried iOS or Windows.

(With contributions from Vinay Saxena)


About the author

Pratul Bagri

Editorial Head.

About the author

Vinay Saxena

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