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Doodhwaalas all over India in awe of Maggi’s milawat

In the light of the Maggi fiasco, the Doodhwala association released a press statement saying that they were awed and inspired by Maggi. Calling it the first product ever to manage more “milawat” than their milk, the doodhwaalas are apparently inspired from this new market challenge and claim to have discovered a role model in Maggi.

New recipes in the market

While kids all over India are heartbroken, the doodhwalas are rejoiced to learn about new “ingredients” which can be added to milk; other than the usual water, detergent, acid, urea and starch. “Humein toh sasura vishwas hi nahi ho raha isss baat pe. Itna talented log baitha raha iss desh mein,” said Ram Lochan, a Doodhwala for past three generations.

Pandey Ji ready for his morning round to sell water milk

Ram Lochan ready for his morning round to sell water milk

“Milawat nahi, milawat ka baap banaye yeh log. Hum toh soche rahi inn logon se kya kuchh nahi seekhne ko milega,”  he added.

Living up the tagline?

While many wonder if the “Taste bhi, Health bhi” tagline is sarcasm or just a sick joke; Nestlé’s tagline of “Good food, Good life” has also taken up new dimensions altogether.

Consumers are now confused about which presentation of Nestlé is worse; their product or their sense of humor. These very thought upon the taglines have drawn attention to how creatively food companies can sell poison “nicely dressed in yellow and red”.

Midday meal providers unaffected by the new challenge

While doodhwalas are awed to see such levels of milawat, midday meal providers insist that nothing beats their food. Pandey ji, a contractor of Midday Meal scheme in a government school is dead sure about their food quality being the absolute worst.

“No big MNC can match our standards ji!, nobody can go beyond what we serve. Ill health at its best is our motto! Maggi is not even one tenth of what we serve to the children of India. It is a challenge. Nobody can make food as bad as ours. After all, what chemical can be worse than live lizards and roaches in food? Mukabla hi nahi ji!”

Maggi officials were unavailable for comments and kept avoiding the reporter by saying, “bas do minute ruko, abhi taiyaar hote hai, saare jawaab denge.”

About the author

Khyati Sharma


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