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Mother under the impression that son doesn’t do daaru-sutta in college

Standing firmly behind her wrong beliefs, a professional mother is under the illusion that her son doesn’t smoke or drink in college.

Projecting her laughable views about her own son towards the reporter, Mrs. Dipti Kumar said that her son would “never ever” touch cigarettes and alcohol.

Unable to accept that her son is the biggest charsi on the campus, Mrs. Kumar trusts her son’s ability to keep his debauchery hidden from her. “My son is a saint,” said the ill-informed mother.

“He even keeps a matchbox with him all the time for emergency poojas,” she added.

Good grades = Good morals

Deepak Kumar, the son, whose daily breakfast include choti gold flake and leftover Old Monk from night before, is quite proud of misleading his family. “Like any other family, my mother equates good morals to good grades,” said Deepak.

Deepak on his hourly smoke break.

Deepak on his hourly smoke break

“As long as I maintain my GPA, I am a pundit.”

Deepak is also a proud owner of new respiratory and liver diseases. He is quite pleased to achieve all this at such a young age.

In the light of such achievements a new title has been bequeathed upon him and the son insists to be called by his proper tile, Deepak Kumar, the son of House Kumar, the First of His Name, the Often Burnt King of Marlboro, Khal to the Newbie Smokers, Maker of Chillums.

Mother still insists on being gullible

As further proof, Mrs Kumar proudly added that her son maintains a dedicated 1 TB external hard disk titled “Bhajans” which more often than not remains connected to his laptop. Although it did confuse her when he refused to let her borrow it for her Navratri Jagran, insisting it was not the right occasion for its use.

“Thank god she bought that!”, said Deepak, “My po-.. excuse me.. my ‘Bhajans‘ are a real hit on the hostel LAN network after all.

At last, Deepak was seen talking to his mother on the phone telling her that he has to hang up because of his appointment with a spiritual guru who goes by the title of Old Monk.

(with inputs from Vinay Saxena and Anisha Dhanda)

About the author

Pratul Bagri

Editorial Head.

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