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Vyapam scam declared a natural disaster by Madhya Pradesh government

Madhya Pradesh government today held a press conference and declared Vyapam scam as an official natural disaster. This announcement comes after the death of 41 people related to the scam, 24 of which are unnatural.

All the ongoing investigations of these unnatural deaths have come to a halt as the government has blamed wrath of god for these deaths.

Speaking to the media the Chief Minister of Madhya Pradesh said, “whenever mankind indulges in heinous activities, and immorality takes over the society, god punishes us with such natural calamities. God has served the justice. More people will be punished for their crimes by the god.”

Sadly, you cannot bring acts of God to justice.

Sadly, you cannot bring acts of God to justice.

When asked about further justifications for closing the investigations into unnatural deaths, the Chief Minister replied, “is the police or CBI greater than god? Are the rulings given by a court better than the god’s rulings? Justice has been delivered and don’t you worry all the 2000 suspects who have been arrested and questioned by the police will also be served appropriate punishment.”

Opposition backs the move for the first time in history

This move by the MP government has attracted praise from unexpected corners. Digvijay Singh of the Congress party said, “this is a really good way of handling scams. I think we missed a trick or two when we were in power. I think this is a far better approach to handle scams than Zero loss theory. It’s never too late to learn. Rahul baba has already enrolled into “How to turn scams into Natural disasters” course at IIN. I personally think this course should be made compulsory for all politicians”

Meanwhile, the Madhya Pradesh government has set up a Vyapam disaster relief fund to help the victims who are still alive. If sources are to be believed Prime Minister Modi has ordered 1,00,000 packets of Maggi to provide relief to those suspects who have not yet been claimed by the Vyapam natural disaster.

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Shridhar Kurlageri

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