#Media Staff Picks

Times of India on the list of porn websites blocked by the government


Supreme Court bans Raghu Ram's mouth because of its adult content

In a revelation that has shocked the Times of India and Times of India only, they have found themselves on the list of porn websites blocked by the government.

While the media giant is desperately trying to rectify this, there has been an unrest among its audience.

“After a hectic day, I just want to sit down, unzip my pants and look at the latest cleavage shot on the Times of India,” said Mr. Pyare, a dedicated ToI user.

“This moral policing is an attack on my personal liberty, what I do in my free time, with my hand, is a business between me, my hand and ToI, there is no third person involved…well sometimes there is but that is not the point.”

“I’ll see if I can torrent the Times of India content, if not, I already have 20 GB worth of porn from my second favourite website—Brazzers,” Mr. Pyare added.

Thankfully, the government has not cracked down on the print edition yet.

Thankfully, the government has not cracked down on the print edition yet.

To protest against this ban on porn, social activists are planning a candlelight march at Janpath and calling it “The nightfall candlelight vigil.”

Supreme Court bans Raghu Ram’s mouth because of its adult content

Conforming to the Indian values of sanskriti and culture, the Supreme Court has issued a gag order on the popular reality TV show host, Raghu Ram.

Temporarily designating Mr. Raghu a status of “U/A”, the Supreme Court has said that until Mr. Ram is cleared by the censor board the gag order will persist.

“I think this a very wise decision and we are hoping that his brother will share the same fate,” a government official admitted.

“It is important that we protect our children from his fucked up language,” he added.

Raghu Ram upon hearing the gag order

Raghu Ram upon hearing the gag order

If internal sources are to be believed, the censor board will make Raghu Ram carry a sign board with him at all the times, which says, “This human being is rated MAL, viewers discretion is advised.”

The gag order put by the Supreme Court is quite literal in the sense. As in, Mr. Raghu Ram’s mouth has been sealed shut by duct tape to protect everyone in his vicinity from his vile language.

Until the gag order holds, Mr. Raghu Ram is being fed through a tube from his nose.

On being question what he thought about this decision of the Supreme Court, Mr. Ram just said two words,”Maa muda.

Mr. Raghu Ram was last seen trying to access the Times of India and yelling “Banjo! Banjo!” in his frustration.


About the author

Pratul Bagri

Editorial Head.

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