Internet Comments Section new frontrunner in Republican presidential race

Within a few days of announcing its presidential bid, Internet Comments Section is leading the Republican presidential race. This has come as a great surprise to many political analysts as Internet Comments Section is not from a rich political family, it does not have any billionaires backing it, nor is it an Evangelical Christian.

keyboard-warriorAn analyst said, “The major reason behind Internet Comments Section’s popularity among right-wing Republicans is their love for hateful, vile, outrageous and factually incorrect statements. The fact that Internet Comments Section has a lot of content abusing Obama makes it a favourite among right-wing Republicans who still believe that Obama is a Muslim born in Kenya.”

The American media has been covering Internet Comments Section relentlessly without giving any airtime to other presidential candidates in the last few days. A television anchor said, “What can we do? Internet Comments Section is so entertaining. It’s like we have some outrageous comment every other second. Can’t focus on anything else now.”

Having dropped to the second place in the poll race, Donald Trump upped the ante by saying, “Internet Comments Section is a loser. It looks ugly. It’s so poor that it is still a virgin, whereas I am a billionaire with a hot wife. Trust me, I am rich. Really really rich.”

In a desperate move to get back in the lead, Trump added, “I will invade Mexico and China and get back all the jobs. I will also make them pay for the invasions. It’s going to be hhhuuuuuuge.” Donald Trump was up by 5 per cent in ratings after this statement.

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Shridhar Kurlageri

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