Lifelessness is the essence of life: Zuckerberg
In his statement, Mark also commented on the issue of Facebook buying WhatsApp, explaining that this move will help in the invention of many more such apps and features to extract lives from this world and make it a peaceful and lifeless place. This is a historical step towards the building of a completely virtual world. “We want people to be engaged with their mobiles all day long. This is going to promote world peace and help build a better future”, he added.
Facebook for animals the next big thing?
On asking what are his next goals, he said, “Well nothing as such. But our team is currently working on an App that will connect animals to animals. The App will help animals find their prey with the help of an SMS which would contain the exact GPS location of the prey. Facebook will update the chase in real-time.” So basically his aim is to extract life from animals too.
Mark also said that he seeks to bridge the gap between humans and animals via Facebook. “Soon, you will be able to ‘poke’ a cow and ask it to deliver milk to your house. Or, you could even ask your dog to go and pee outside the house in the morning.” He said that the WhatsApp “Last Seen at” feature will help humans stay away from wild animals in the vicinity.
A social life for animals (Because food and shelter is secondary)
Experts believe that the possibilities are practically limitless. “What if your puppy wants to stalk his female counterparts in the streets, what does he do? Run on the streets? No way, that’s not how things are done anymore. You are supposed to stalk people, or animals for that matter only on Facebook or WhatsApp. Similarly, what does a cow do if it feels like mooing? Go through all that effort? Hell no. She just updates ‘Mooo’, with the subtext ‘feeling very wild today’.”
Teenagers are psyched at the news, with some adamant that Facebook will now be able to solve all the first-world problems. “First, the WhatsApp association helped me stay in touch with my friends, even if we were in the same room. Now, this animal feature is even cooler. My cat and I have been having some problems lately, maybe I’ll add her on animal farm on Facebook now. Clearly, she envies me for having a social life. Now, she’ll have one too.”, said a 16 year old girl, Christina.
All said and done, this move is truly a historical step towards shifting people from the real world to the virtual one. Let’s hope that it will help the scientists’ research in examining what the Earth was like before the Big Bang, which was basically lifeless.