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By Feb 3, 2013 • Dafuq!

Some of the most hilarious recent news from across the world

In the world that we live in, three types of things take place:
Good things happen. Bad things happen.
And, well, crazy things happen.

On DAFUQ!, we bring you all the crazy things that actually happened.
Believe me, some stuff is so unbelievable, that after you’ve read this column, you’d be sitting and thinking, “And I thought it’s our country that’s full of crazy!” (It still is. It’s just that we’ve got competition.)

Derick Lee, 24 years of age, was a cheeky badass. He thought he could easily rob a house while a jewellery party was on (they have jewellery parties?!). He was going to take on 15 women, that too using a water-gun instead of a real one. Real smooth, right? That was until Jesus kicked his butt. And no, Jesus wasn’t the name of the house-owner’s rottweiler. According to reports, the women inside the house started CHANTING “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus” and our man here turned on his heel and ran out leaving the women unharmed. (Florida women frighten off intruder by chanting “Jesus”)

***
Look at your bank account. Yeah go on, check your balance. Not enough, right? Keep that feeling intact because then only you’ll be able to feel for the citizens of Zimbabwe. According to recent news, Zimbabwe has only $217 in its bank account. Not 217 million. Or thousand. Just $217. The country infamous for producing 100 trillion dollar bills has $217 as its bank balance. Well I’d be damned.
(Zimbabwe government has just $217 in its bank account)

***
Moving on to another hilarious robbery attempt. Three men in Colombia robbed a grocery store. As a getaway ride, they used a donkey. Genius, since who gives a damn about donkeys, right? Except that the donkey started braying as soon as they started escaping and they had to abandon him and their spoils. And I thought I had the crappiest luck in the world. (Getaway donkey ruins robbery)

***
Metaphors sometimes do come true. Literally. Ever heard of this one, “Earth opening up and swallowing me whole”? A sinkhole opened up in Guangzhou, China and “swallowed” two buildings without prior warning. The Chinese should be happy. They anyway don’t get to watch much of Hollywood. This one’s right out of a Michael Bay movie. (Sinkhole swallows whole building complex in China)

***
For all those men who wished to fulfil their childhood fantasies of becoming a soldier but somehow couldn’t, here’s something that you can look at and be glad. Soldiers of a certain elite battalion of the German army are developing breasts because of their traditional drills. And ONLY on the left side of their chest. Yes, please check the link, this is as true as can be. I can’t decide which emotion to
display. (Why are German soldiers growing breasts?)

***
Gambia, a small West African state, has declared that from February 1, it will have just 4 working days per week for the public sector to allow its public more time for prayer, agriculture and social activities. And this was done owing to public demand. India could do well to declare 3 days a week, citing its public needs more time for… protests. (Gambia’s public sector to have four-day working week)

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