The Morning: आम नमः शिवाय
Then, he has his tea. He is very specific on that and only drinks a strong flavoured ‘Jago Re’ tea. It is believed the tea is for “opening his eyes”, literally as well as metaphorically. He then sits for half an hour of meditation, using his own “Aam” chanting instead of the usual “Om”. And then, as he hurries to get ready for office, he puts on his Nike shoes, since his motto in life is “Just Do It”. No analysis, no arguments…Just Do It!
The Office: A man of “insecurity”
Mr. Kejriwal then takes an auto to his office, since he has a non-debatable opposition towards any kind of security. It is said he once missed a flight, because he refused the airline security check. “I am a common man, I don’t need any security”, he is believed to have reasoned.
This can be explained by the rationale that he always uses human sentiments before practical logic. In his IRS interview, he was asked, “Do you think you are good enough for civil services?” Apparently, he replied, “इस देश के आम आदमी को कमज़ोर मत समझना। वो खेती भी करता है, ड्राइविंग भी करता है, कोडिंग भी करता है और डोपिंग भी। कमज़ोर मत समझना हमें।” (Unfortunately, this line did not work in this NTMN reporter’s Google interview.)
Once in office, he starts dealing with problems at hand, like demanding MCD to be cooperative, or asking the opposition to support him wholeheartedly. Even as a kid, Mr. Kejriwal didn’t play cricket with the people who used to try and get him out. He always wants full support from everybody, even his adversaries.
Dealing with problems, Aam Aadmi Style
After lunch, he switches to killer mode and pulls out a small map of Delhi, transferring Government officials at random from one place to another, right after he puts on a blindfold. He says this gives him perspective, while ensuring parity in the distribution.
Then, he sits in his Janta Darbar and listens to people and their problems. Some days, it gets really awkward for him, like just the other day, when an old man began telling him about his recent piles operation, in great detail. But, generally, he deals with whatever is thrown at him, like bouquets, flying kisses, and sometimes even love letters, swatting them away like an accomplished batsman.
After spending hours dealing with the mess left behind by the previous incumbent, Mr. Kejriwal turns his attention to matters of politics and decides the way forward for AAP. He plans shrewd moves of politics, such as ordering Gujarati dhokla in snacks, and then making press conferences about how he got only 249.99 gm of it and no chillies whatsoever when he had clearly ordered 250 grams. He generally goes on the offensive via cunning tactics such as reiterating that everybody is a chor (thief) and declaring “broom yatras” in Gujarat against Narendra Modi, revealing his secret weapon: the same Nimbus 2000 used by Harry Potter as brooms.
Back home: Managing Public Relations
Finally, when he is back at his home, Arvind Kejriwal turns to more important matters, i.e., asking the public for their opinions on all matters, whether simple or complex. He asks the janta on his blog which of the two, Makemytrip.com or Yatra.com, is better for booking his next holiday.
Striving to bridge communication between him and the public even further, he types out WhatsApp messages, claiming that he solved Indo-China conflicts by SMS polls only, and sends them out to as many people as he can. Last time we checked, he was asking the public if it was time he should visit the men’s room, only to receive a flurry of responses, the pick of them being, “Sit down and work. No need for needless breaks. Get WiFi.”
At the stroke of midnight, without fail, he falls asleep in order to be recharged for the next day. When some days, he has difficulty in sleeping, he tries to count the number of times his old mentor Anna Hazare has gone on fast and falls asleep within minutes.