#Politics Staff Picks - Archived

BJP declares elections as the real winner in Delhi elections


After suffering a staggering loss in the Delhi elections, the Bharatiya Janata Party has declared that the elections are the real winner in Delhi. Claiming it to be the victory of democracy and the rights of people, the BJP not once mentioned its defeat. The party flatly refused to acknowledge AAP’s victory saying that “the real winner is the spirit in which the elections were fought.”

“Hona hee tha.”

Flowers for the Delhi coffin

Flowers for the Delhi coffin

Many residents of Delhi who were on sick leave to watch the elections are happy with the verdict.

“We all knew that this tri-series was a formality, AAP’s victory was assured as soon as BJP opened its mouth,” said Mr. Aggarwal, a Delhite famous for his sweets.

Meanwhile AAP is really happy with its performance. “Our volunteers kept up the pace, there were some misfields on part of Mr. Naresh Balyan, but overall we did splendidly,” said Mr. Kejriwal.

“The second powerplay could have been threatening when they brought in their new player, but Ms. Bedi was unable to hold her ground,” added the AAP convenor. Bedi, who had renamed herself “Wicket Bedi” just before the match, wasn’t able to take a single wicket.

“We deserve something for not tampering the EVMs.”

Amit Shah, BJP’s chief strategist, denied allegations that he failed to read the pitch conditions correctly and demanded the fair play award. “For the first time in Indian elections, there was no mudslinging, no cash-for-votes, etc., and this only shows that the BJP is committed towards upholding the spirit of the game.”

Ajay Maken, who was sure of his party emerging victorious reasoned that Rahul Gandhi had padded up to open their innings, but on learning that leather ball was being used and not plastic ones, he put on his helmet and ran off. He said that Congress couldn’t recover from this major blow.

Kejriwal said, “Plastic ball se khelna hai to gali me khelo. Yahan hum sirf beamers aur yorkers daalte hain. Desh me kranti aa gayi hai.”

Damp weather conditions didn’t deter the Delhi public as they came out in large numbers to support their team, with a record-breaking turnout for the game. Some supporters were spotted outside the stadium, and were angry that they weren’t being let in because they didn’t have voter ID cards.

Arvind Kejriwal, captain of the winning team, said in the post match conference, “They were concentrating on negative bowling. Negative tactics work in Test matches. Yahan it is called wide. Umpires were fair today, usually such big matches are fixed. There is a lot of money involved. Yahi toh scam hai.”


About the author

Pratul Bagri

Editorial Head.

About the author

Kumar Pratik

Exorcist, Demonologist, and Master of the Dark Arts. Just kidding. Part of NTMN since May 2011 and Editor-in-Chief from 2013 to 2014.

About the author

Rishi

Student. Explorer. Writer. Guitarist. Head-Banger. Psycho. Yet, imperfect.

Leave a Reply