#India #Women

All rapists in the country throng to Bihar to turn attention from “Rape” to “Bihar”

In a revolutionary move, The Rapists Association of India (TRAI) has ordered all its members to relocate to Bihar with immediate effect. After a clandestine meeting late last night at its headquarters in New Delhi, TRAI decided to deviate attention of the general public from the issue of “rape” to the more important task of promoting “petty infighting” between the different states.

TRAI is an association of all the yet-to-be-convicted rapists of early 21st century. Led by General Secretary Yo Yo Balatkari Singh, it is a non-government group which carries its operations in secret, mostly in the northern states of India, but is not limited there.

A “potential rapist”, who has been selected in TRAI for training (selection is done after a strenuous online interview) disclosed to an NTMN reporter, “We are being forced to sign contracts which specify that TRAI will help us in our interests, as long as we run away to Bihar after raping someone.” What interests? “Oh, they help us track down our potential victims, teach us tricks to evade the pepper spray, and also train us how to be more brutal than any of our predecessors. The more brutal we are, the more brownie points we earn, you see.”

The news comes after the two rapists of the 5-year-old girl in New Delhi were caught in Bihar as was the rapist of the girl from Madhya Pradesh.

NTMN caught up with Balatkari Singh. “The public is violent, they are really after us this time. We needed to create a diversion. So, all the ‘esteemed’ members of TRAI have been relocated to Bihar. This will turn their fickle attention from ‘Rape’ to the issue of ‘Biharis as inherent rapists’.”

Meanwhile, Raj Thackeray has categorically denied any association with Balatkari or the TRAI. However, he slammed the Indian Government for not honouring Yo Yo with the Bharat Ratna, even though he had upheld the Constitution’s vision of regionalism.

Eminent personalities and other natives from Bihar have vehemently denied claims that “Rapists are mostly Biharis”, by calling this a propaganda of TRAI. However, the common masses have turned on the Biharis. Women, especially in the national capital, are now looking at the Biharis around them with suspicion. TRAI, therefore, has suggested to its members to adopt a Punjabi or a Haryanvi accent to easily reach their preys.

The Rapists Association of India, meanwhile, continues to thrive in the ruckus, quietly going about its job, without much fuss.

About the author

Kumar Pratik

Exorcist, Demonologist, and Master of the Dark Arts. Just kidding. Part of NTMN since May 2011 and Editor-in-Chief from 2013 to 2014.

Leave a Reply