Finally, the association of ragtag feminists in the country, now endearingly referred to as Feminazis has reached a decision that promises to solve all their problems in one go.
The association led by the self-proclaimed lead activist Deepika Padukone came to the historic consensus of “marrying within the sex to eliminate middle men altogether” after realizing that all of their problems were being caused by the despicable animal that is man.
Bandra, a female sovereign state?
NTMN learnt from sources that among other revolutionary ideas discussed in the meeting which was held in Mumbai at a posh seven star hotel was the declaration of the Bandra locality as a “female sovereign state”. Another idea that was inspired from the movie franchise, Planet of the Apes, was the overthrowing of the patriarchal regime by a feminazi regime to create an equal and just society.
“I have the rights, but no responsibilities”
“I would marry my dog before I marry a man,” Padukone spoke to the press afterwards. “In fact, why do I need to marry at all?” She then accused the men in the press of subliminally coercing her to marry.
Once she had calmed down, she continued, “The society needs to understand that women have free choice which gives me us the right to inspire an entire generation to make bad choices.”
You’re hypocrites ~ Hypocrites
“Do you have any idea about the oppression against women?” A raging feminazi, the sixteen year old daughter of the richest businessman in all of Delhi, Mr. Chadda who also happens to run an NGO for women’s rights, bellowed at the NTMN reporter. “You’re all hypocrites.” She yelled and stormed off in her Audi A8 to the nearest rehabilitation centre.
“Women are now strong enough to brainwash women”
The spokesperson for the event, Naari Krantikari sported a “Say No to Men” T-shirt and briefed the reporters, “By eliminating the middle man, we are ensuring the purity and protection of our kind. Why must men brainwash women anymore when we are strong enough to do that ourselves?
Women must understand that nothing is out of our limits now, not even adultery or murder, now that we have feminism at our sides. We are well and truly empowered now.”
The way forward…
Going forward, the association has planned campaigns for forced sex conversions on men across the country, tentatively titled “Ghar Wapsi 2”. The association of feminazis also has plans to find this NTMN reporter in some secluded corner of the streets and beat him up for trying to take them on.
In related news, most intelligent people have compared Vogue’s latest gimmick on feminism to Rahul Gandhi’s attempt of women empowerment a year ago. Some are expecting the announcement of a Deepika Padukone movie very soon.