“It has survived every single attempt made to hack into it,” confirmed the under-developed web-developers at IRCTC. Thanks to the ever revolving “loading” sign on the left-hand-side of the web browser window, three foreign hackers have been reported dead and seven others injured as they banged their heads against anything they came across. They did so out of sheer frustration, while waiting for the home page of IRCTC to load.
When asked about the unprecedented hype around the IRCTC website, an official said on the condition of anonymity, “We simply deserve it. Unfortunately, it has taken so long for them to realize our potential. The level of consistency and sluggishness we have achieved over the years is truly remarkable.” He added that steps would be taken to further enhance the security by having every link on the website redirected to newer tabs, each taking forever to load. A network crash is a possibility.
The chief software engineer of IRCTC, told us, “If a cyber apocalypse were to take place, IRCTC would be the sole survivor. You see, the Trojans and viruses would not be able to even access the files hosted at IRCTC, let alone harm them.”
Setting example for other websites
Other websites known to be secure are now looking up to the IRCTC for guidance on enjoying a safer cyber space. In a media release earlier today, the CIA chief said, “While all the major security agencies around the world are facing this severe crisis, an Indian website by the name IRCTC is really setting the standards of web security. After a 9-hour-long discussion with our web security experts, we have decided to sign an MoU with IRCTC.”
The Railway Minister said at a press conference held at his residence, “We have put India on the world map. The world is looking at us and we should be proud of it.” However, on the developments so far, leader of the Opposition seemed unimpressed. He says, “The level of security deteriorates as the day progresses as far as “tatkal” booking timings are considered. Tatkal bookings were introduced when we were in power and the present government is yet to match our achievements. We strongly condemn the false promises they are making and demand for consistent security level throughout the day.” The ruling party is yet to take a stand on it.
Every now and then, people with genuine accounts on IRCTC have committed suicide while trying to login; may God be with the hackers.
(edited by Zoyeb Batliwala. Aman, Apoorva and Zoyeb are currently interning with us in our Youth Internship-cum-Training Program.)